If you are considering transition, I would not go as far as to say Don’t- but ask yourself, “Am I a beta male? Can I enjoy that, and not transition?” I am suffering transition Regret at the moment. But first, what is a beta male?
Here’s Evan Marckatz, a man who explains men to women. A woman asks about the “total sweetheart” “beta-male” she’s dating. She wants to “take control” but resists the urge because the Guru has advised otherwise. The Guru tells her that advice only applies to alpha males. “He’ll be thrilled that you’re taking control”. If that’s what you want, have fun!
“Is his behaviour normal?” is the headline. The answer implied is that it is not Alpha but quite within normal range.
I first heard the term as the heading of Robert Crampton‘s family life column in The Times, shortly after my Op. I have no idea why he chose the title. I first heard someone say it of himself in November: he meant happy with his emotions and not pretending to be macho, I think.
When I clicked Google’s favoured result, the site started opening new windows on sports betting and I shut it down. A beta male is the opposite to an alpha male, the difference is the mindset. We listed lot of Beta male characteristics and traits you must avoid to be an alpha male. Make sure to read all this article. We Don’t Want You to be is The guy who Scared of his own desires the man who is. “Traits you must avoid”- how to tie someone up in even more knots. This is toxic masculinity at its worst, men denying themselves to pretend to be some macho monster, the only acceptable emotions are anger and contempt. There is nothing to learn here, just scared men projecting their weakness onto others, disparaging it, and getting more and more afraid of their true selves.
Urban Dictionary gives a variety of results. To have your wife be more of a man than you. That is silly. What does “man” mean, anyway? James Bond. What? The type of guy who doesn’t flex, attempt to demonstrate his self worth in obnoxious or superficial ways, but instead exercises real life control; without announcement, or for the sake of publicity. That is, someone who is not a bully or show-off but still masculine and effective.
This is more like it: A man who is content with nontraditional gender roles; i.e., he is not threatened by intelligent and/or powerful women, and he does not have to be in control of every situation to maintain his sense of self…The beta male doesn’t buy in to the basest stereotypes about male behavior, and that’s hugely sexy. It is all about different ways of relating. Sensitive, nurturing, conflict-averse communicators make great partners, says Salon.
I would not suggest anyone should avoid transition, hormones or surgery if that is what they want, but they might consider “beta-male” as a way of expressing their true selves without all that trouble. There is confusion about what it means- people say, “Not alpha-male” and mean “Not a real man” or “Not infected with toxic masculinity”; people extend it to mean any man aware and unafraid of feeling, rather than particularly feminine men. But there is a start at positive language, appreciating not denigrating.
I am in a state of regret. I am still taking the paracetamol. I want relationship, and imagining that it might have been possible but for my transition casts me into misery, frustration, despair. And- transition was how I managed to be myself, how I avoided suicide, what I wanted more than anything else in the world, my own decision, the only way forward I could see at the time, and probably I am too feminine to fit “beta-male” anyway.
Continued: Beta Male II.