Trans Blog

Elizabeth DrexelThis blog is about Life: everything that interests me, which is everything. And- as I am a trans woman, it is about my Trans experience. What is transition like? Why do we transition? Click the links.

Expressing myself female is so much better. Here is what I have lost- and gained. I have felt such shame, and I overcome it. Though arguably mine is a male experience, and we are feminine men. What does the word “feminine” even mean? For me, it means this. This is how feminine I am. I have been terribly femme-phobic. I have fought my femininity, gloried in it, and let go of it. But do others “see us as women”– and if not, does it matter? Do they try?

Autogynephilia is the theory that we transition because we are perverts. I doubt this theory. I tell my own experience of it, share James Cantor‘s theory that it is life-long and incorrigible, then give resources showing why it is wrong. Though even if it were true, it would be right to transition if you wished. In Fetishes, I assess a similar theory about why we might want to be women. The Gender Diamond is a more Boldini_-_Mademoiselle_de_Nemidoffuseful theory. “Trans is not a sexual orientation,” we insist- but it is all about sex. Doctors are the gate-keepers on treatment, but cultural understandings of the condition itself are far more useful than the medical model. This is what DSM V has to say, and perhaps ICD 11.

What if, after transition, you realise it was a mistake? Here are four women who reverted, and why. Being a sissy is a way of being a man, so perhaps you should present male. Being a sissy is shame filled, but is beautiful and valuable. A sissy can “Man up” if necessary. I have decided I will not revert.

Appearance matters, and you need to know how to tuck your penis so that you can wear short skirts, even a swimming costume. But taking your wig off is okay. And it was completely wonderful to get my first well-fitting bra. It is important to have breast screening. How would you explain to others: are you a “Woman trapped in a man’s body,” or “born that way”? Could you achieve Stealth, and would you want to? How should you respond to abuse in the street? How should you respond to abuse from trans excluders: do we have male privilege, or is there any such thing as trans privilege?

If you consider altering your natural hormone balance, you may be interested in my experiences: being taken off HRT, how I was six months after going back on, and having my hormones reassessed later. Norethisterone, synthetic progesterone, apart Boldini, Mlle de Gillespiefrom causing bleeds so lessening the risk of uterine cancer, has interesting effects.

I write about Choosing Transition– making the decision, and the work involved in coming to living female- and the Road map, on how constrained the “acceptable” way of transitioning is. Making your own decision, you may be pleased to learn of resemblances between trans and cis women’s brains.

I have written on surgery for gender reassignment: Orchiectomy and homosexual transsexuals, and A Tranny paradox on why I had the operation. You need to know about dilation of the neovagina after the operation, though you can have labiaplasty without a neo-vagina. Your vagina may be created from part of your bowel, a colo-vaginoplasty. Don’t have it unless you are certain you want it. I keep coming back to this. You get the appearance, not the reality, of female sexual organs.

Even though I transitioned in 2002, and felt more myself than ever before, I have gone through a series of self-acceptance experiences far more recently. We deny ourselves to make ourselves men, and it scars us. Though light is a wave and a Boldini- Berthè considers a fanparticle: I could see myself as a man, a woman, both, or neither, or as a trans woman.

In January 2016, the Parliamentary Committee on Women and Equalities reported on Transgender Equality.

If trans folk could be reliably diagnosed as children, it would make life easier for us. Parents get bad and good advice. A mother may have forced a cis boy to present as trans.

I write challenging trans-exclusion: Trans-Including radical feminists; Are you a TERF?; I am a “Real woman”; Trans “Chauvinism”; An address to the radical feminists; Peak Trans, a “man in a dress”, refuting TERF attacks. Part of the problem is that Empowerment for them is completely different than for us, though I believe complementary.

Leave a comment! Tell of your experience, or just say Hello.

14 thoughts on “Trans Blog

  1. Stopping by for a look as requested! Given this is only my third visit to your blog, I’d say this certainly achieves the aim of giving me a quick overview of this part of your life – the main issues dealt with as you went through this transition and thoughts/issues/theories/background on the trans experience. I certainly clicked a few times, so it worked to pull me in when I wanted to know more.

    Overall, I have to say I really love the look your blog and your use of pictures – you seem to do it with a consistent theme and beauty. I’m not sure what I think of the red script – but I’m more “Plain Jane” naturally in these things so I think that in part comes down to personal preference – and, again, I’d say it works with your theme.

    Looking forward to reading more regularly!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. The images are an integral part of this blog and I have the World and the ages to choose from.

      Welcome, Jane, and thank you for commenting. I liked your alternative fairy tales. I liked Hardy too, once, though the suffering got wearing.

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  2. Clare,
    You have a lovely blog. It is wonderful that these venues exist for self-exploration and expression. I am (or have been; pretty much over any relationships now) gay and I have a lifelong friend who underwent female to male surgery some 35 years ago. He is doing great and the first time I saw him after the surgery I thought, “That’s It!” There was always an elusive quality about ‘her’ that dissolved into congruity in “him”. But I like your ambi-gender presentation. A good film to share is Two Spirits, about a young Navajo man who was murdered for being him/herself. I believe we are all both male and female to varying degrees in various situations. And I truly get the idea of a core gender identity. My spirituality (Eckankar) makes no distinction; Soul = Soul and Love = Love.
    Linda

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    • Welcome, LK, and thank you for commenting. Seeing any particular characteristic as male or female, or even masculine or feminine, is invidious. I am female in my own way. A friend told me “You are acting when you are Steven, you are just you when you are Clare”.

      Mmmm. Better Endings is a dynamic, interactive blog site where you can practice “flexible envisioning” or creative revision in your life by applying Life Mapping tools. After reviewing and reflecting on patterns in your life related to Life Themes and/or “Archemes” (situational archetypal character traits which this method will allow you to discover), you can envision your Life Dream and include your Archetypal Ally Srengths to manifest and Live Your Dream, Now!…. To learn more about this approach, check out my website, http://www.lifepathmaps.com. My upcoming book, LIFE PATHS (with The Life Maps Process Handbook) will offer all the benefits of Life Mapping to the public as an informative book and self-help Handbook manual. Looks interesting.

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