There are those who are in control of their lives, who are successful in business, and who are driven, and perhaps are unhappy.
There are those who need control in their lives, and, unable to assert that control in the World, retreat from it. I have met people who are afraid to go out of their own houses, or who live with others and stay in the bedroom. It seems to me that they seek the same control over what they can control- one room, rather than, say, a multinational company.
“There is nothing to fear but fear itself” misses the point. In control, whether of a multinational company, or a bedroom (or even, just, the space under the bed) one avoids fear out of a fear of fear. I cannot allow myself to fear, therefore I must control.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” gets closer. Fear is OK. There are moments when fear is the natural and healthy response. And there are people for whom fear is unacceptable, and so they impose Control, and may benefit from knowing Why.
For me, I believe that it has been unacceptable in me to show fear since before I could walk. I think it is a deeply ingrained early childhood pattern, which continues to dominate me (making a mockery of any control I exercise). I give strength and energy to what I suppress. I want to accept my Fear.
I wanted my blog to be a record of process accomplished, not the process itself. Here, I am in the heat of my process.
Clare Flourish 
Whether you wish to acknowledge your fear or not your courage is there for all to see and therefore I call you brave. Love David
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Thatnk you for your kindness, David, that is good to hear, and- my point is not about characteristics, but effectiveness. It is about internal restrictions, and a possible way to mitigate them.
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Hi Clare, Great blogsite.
You might find these helpful…
http://paulcburr.com/2011/08/19/fear-attracts-fear-case-study/
http://paulcburr.com/2011/09/27/fearless-versus-fearlessness-the-difference-between-courage-and-wisdom/
http://paulcburr.com/2011/10/10/about-courage/
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Thank you. Interesting, and worth a look. A salesman who worked in fear found the prospects and customers fearful of him.
Ignoring fear does not work, it blocks out courage.
“The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found those dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.”
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I definitely control for fear, often, for fear of making myself crazy with disorder, which makes me crazy with disorder. We’re all on a journey but yours seems so laden with self-awareness – my wishes for a fulfilling journey.
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Great post, Clare ~ I don’t know if you like sci-fi, but this quote from Dune is one of my favorites:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
— Litany against Fear from the Bene Gesserit rite
Overcoming fear (mostly self-doubt, limitaitons ) has been a biggie for me with Saturn (restriction) as my chart ruler. Luckily as I age, I am learning how to use it to ‘fine tune’, rather than obstruct the life energy.
All the best~
Gniess
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oh dear, I AM tired. Gneiss. sheesh. 🙂
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Mmm. The choice of the gom jabbar in the neck, or loss of the hand. Memorable scene. I seek, indeed, to face not repress fear, as Doctapaul says. We learn to do that. I am sure you are learning it.
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BUT it’s so important, for me, to witness your process! Please keep sharing as you go along. Enlightening and encouraging to watch someone in their growth. OM Shanti. h*
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I am glad to hear that it is worthwhile. I am not certain of my own judgment of that, and so it is good to be reinforced. Thank you.
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