Gini of One

File:Esthermillais.jpgIn 2012, the Gross World Product, the combined production of the world, was $84.97 trillion, and the population exceeded seven billion on 12 March 2012. So the income of the world, per head, was $12,138, by purchasing power.

From Cap Gemini: The investable wealth of the world’s High Net Worth Individuals reached $46.2 trillion in 2012, that is 11.97 million people, averaging $3.9m each. Were that divided equally among the world’s population, it would be $6,600 each. “Investable” wealth omits the value of the main residence. Bain and Co estimated world capital in 2010 at $600 trillion. They expect this figure to grow by 50% in the decade to 2020. The 2010 figure is $85,714 per head.

Global Issues: over three billion people live on less than $2.50 a day.

The Gini coefficient measures the inequality among values in a set, for example levels of wealth. A Gini of zero indicates perfect equality, a Gini of one indicates one person owns all the wealth. The Gini can be greater than one if everyone else owes the plutocrat money.

That $12,000 income is per head, including children, the elderly, and others not working.

So if we sorted the problems of dividing income and giving incentives to work, everyone could live in a state of wealth undreamed of a century ago. Greater income equality produces greater happiness. have been reading about The Culture, again. A level 4 civilisation in one of the books- faster than light travel, colonies in other star systems- has still got rich people, and the richest is always unethical and often criminal. It is not really a spoiler that he gets his, violently, in the end- Banks strives for happy endings. There is a mechanised thing which can build starships, by itself, and he owns it. There is no particular need for humanity to reach a certain level of capital, and then become egalitarian.

Soon there will be trillionaires.

This has sat as a draft for more than six months, because it is essentially a whine about part of an apparently dreadful situation.

What of Creative Destruction? The world gets better, and the Luddites were wrong. Well. In the previous state of technology, a weaver was self-employed, and could make a living, and the looms the Luddites broke allowed anyone to work them, driving down the wages, and driving all the profit to the mill-owners. Now, there are too many people, and any job may be out-sourced or mechanised, driving  down the wages and driving all the profit to the wealthiest. Except that there are no machines I can go out and break with a hammer.

Another unused draft from about the same time consists only of two links about happiness. The second is to a page which seems no longer available, but the site has a wonderful URL. At least I can put in a nice picture.

God Smites America

One hears occasionally that God smites America because of gay marriage. We had an idiot over here recently, saying something similar. One advantage of free speech is that idiots become visible. But look how the Polar vortex hit Georgia before it hit New England. Seattle was OK too.


And see which has gay marriage, and which has a constitutional marriage ban. Admittedly God struck Minnesota, which has just got equal marriage, but they are used to cold, and perhaps he was willing to make sacrifices in order to hit Atlanta. Weather systems are such crude weapons for smiting.

Gayly Jan 2014 MISC gay_marriage_map_updated_with_utah

Did God miss? Or is God against those constitutional bans?

Hear the Voice of God!

Stop being nasty to gay people

Affirm gay marriage

Gays are OK!

Share on Facebook. The Word of God must be known. Twitter this!

Update: Marriage map as of May 2014.

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I internalised homophobia and transphobia, and became a bigot. I still have some traces of my internalised transphobia: transphobic remarks from others can make me need reassurance from others that it’s all right to be like this, though less and less, now.

The theory is that victim groups “internalise” the views about them which oppressor groups hold- trannies are disgusting, whatever- and so oppress ourselves. And a person who oppresses himself like this will also oppress others: so I was nasty to gay people. I have grown out of that.

I am provoked by Brute Reason. I know I internalised. I know that I am mostly cured, and that I am freer and better off. What of a woman who wants to stay at home and be a full time Mum? Perhaps her ultimate self-actualisation, the unity of her gifts and attributes means that she will be Fulfilled as a stay-at-home Mum. Possibly, also, she has internalised patriarchal beliefs and without them she would be a doctor, the type with no bedside manner or empathy whatsoever.

It might be more likely that a stay-at-home Mum had internalised patriarchal oppression in the 1950s, when there were so many more of them. A woman’s salary was treated differently from the man’s in assessing a couple’s mortgage. A seascape- shipping by moonlight- detail 2Women might leave work on marriage. So 1970s feminism “raised Consciousness” so that women now can choose other things. Now, that Mum is more likely to have chosen for herself, though it is still possible that she has internalised patriarchy.

I have a clear understanding that I internalised transphobia, and am liberated from it (as in “Women’s Liberation”). As a bigot, I would have denied it. I can only know I internalised in retrospect.

Being a full time Mum is a reasonable choice in a society where other options are available. I wondered whether being celibate, as a gay man, could ever be a choice free from internalised homophobia. Catholic priests- whether Anglo-Catholic or Roman- may believe that they are better pastors when celibate. I am unsure whether this is just part of the ridiculous traditionalist Catholic view of sex, or whether they are on to something- it originated when priests were told not to have sex the night before celebrating the Eucharist, then started celebrating daily, which is unconnected to whether a priest cannot love his congregation as much if he has his own family.

It is always possible that a person makes decisions because of internalised oppression, and that will be the case as long as there is oppression.


Tarot fool 1How could we be free of society? Social norms are there for a reason: transgress at your peril.

I find Scott Freeman and Anahad Ahluwalia provocative enough to merit an answer, but instead here are my own views.

I am unclear what Scott means by “Sex taboos”. I find bestiality disgusting, but am unclear on what basis I could recommend anyone else to feel that way. We have taboos around adultery, which have value: adultery betrays a partner and loosens the support the adulterer has from that partner, though some partners turn a blind eye. Our taboos against homosexuality and gender transition are weakening rapidly, because they are harmful; yet the weakening process is painful, and there are casualties.

tarot fool 2As Anahad says, on breaking one rule- children should not drink alcohol- adolescents are entrapped by the social pressures of their drinking culture. By middle age, we recognise there are more choices, and we grade the consequences better: from thinking “Not keeping up with every round is Social Death so Impossible” we find different goals and ways of achieving them. Society gives out conflicting signals: alcohol is the acceptable drug to drown out the misery of existence. We find our own way, which happens to be the way many have followed, and may choose social groups because they fit with our way, or fit our drinking habits to the social groups we find for other reasons.

“Why not tread our own path?” he asks. Because it is difficult. How to know even which of the role-models would best fit, leave alone invent our own way. In those social groups we test the boundaries, and find a way of rubbing along together. His suggestion of “giving yourself time” to find what really fits you is a good one.

tarot fool 3Scott says we should stick to the roads, which are for motorists; children playing should give way. If Scott meant gender expression, our rigid norms distort us. People do not fit 1950s ideals of masculinity or femininity. This is an age of experimentation. Some people go their own way. Lili Elbe, the first trans woman to have genital corrective surgery, was a pioneer, and now her path, of choosing to be reassigned and express oneself as the opposite sex is protected by gender recognition and equalities legislation. There is a new road we can drive down, which Lili walked alone and which has been tarmac’d and fenced by the legislators. People are finding new ways, and new words- genderqueer or neutrois (neither or both male and female); genderfuck to express anger at gender expectations.

The result will be enhanced freedom, with a greater range of human expression and a better fit for each person to how they see they can express themselves. The process is painful: the pain of seeing others transgress boundaries one feels should be sacred, the pain of not quite finding what fits and not, yet, being accepted. Scott would keep us Safe, and I see the attraction of that; but a lot of human creativity and individuality would go to waste.

It works for Society, though is hard on individuals, now. Sometimes, the end of all our exploring is just to stop.

Freedom blogs

Dante_Gabriel_Rossetti_The_Blue_Closet_1857 (2) Who would blog on Freedom? I am nervous: would I find horrible Libertarian rubbish railing at taxation for public services such as roads? Freedom is meaningful as “Freedom to-“: one is not free who must work all day to survive. Or there is Freedom in a spiritual sense. It is a popular topic, twenty posts in less than seven hours. What do we say about Freedom?

Marsreine writes of a conflict between elves and humans, a scene from a longer story, in which an elf princess is freed, and her human former captor is rendered unconscious and taken for questioning. It reads as if English is not her first language, or her command of it is insufficient for the ideas she wishes to express, though she calls New York “home” and resides in Florida. And- the ideas could be interesting: how do the elves differ from people, and how does each come to understand the other?

Adam Smith 1922 is pissed off with self-important little runts from any part of the political spectrum who purport to speak for him, or all Kiwis. Well, of course: if it is a matter for politics, not all New Zealanders are united. Adam can speak for himself. I asked him, why 1922? Irish independence? He is part Irish.

I can’t make head nor tail of Machine Head Media, or the post in the categories Cannon Law, Economics, Free Masonic Orders, Freedom, Health, Home Vegtable Garden, Homlessness, Nature, Poverty, Survivalist, unalienable rights. Dante_Gabriel_Rossetti_The_Blue_Closet_1857 (r)

Empower Women Unite is the first of the twenty on Wisdom aspects of freedom, starting with the quote You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream misattributed to CS Lewis. Well, it does not sound his style, though he writes of “setting up a good life as our final goal” in Man or Rabbit. I am not in the mood for motivational Wisdom which tells me to set goals and strive towards them, especially as I know that is a Good Thing; but this is more nuanced. You might want to go to New York to dance on a Broadway stage, but your dreams can be partially realised by joining your local AmDram group. “Hills peep o’er hills, and alps on alps arise”- not looking at them may make me happier.

Morning Devotions quotes Colossians 1: 13-14: 13 For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, 14 who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. It talks of freeing ourselves, with God, from great past sins or addictive current sins. What sin is holding its noose over you? is it a secret sin… abortion, divorce, [sex] adultery [sex] … leaving your family destitute…. cheating on your spouse [sex] … reading that book that you know you shouldn’t be reading [sex?] … or that magazine [probably sex] … listening and watching things you should not be opening your mind…[Darwinism, LGBT equality, sex] The …s are his.

Scott Freeman’s In Defense of Sex Taboos: sort of is an article I want to engage with. So I will. Tomorrow, as that is enough for today. And Beaver Life Bytes who takes an opposing view to Scott.

Ludovico Einaudi

Here is my first Youtube video.

The z2H challenge is do something new. Mmm. I could do a video, but what of? Unless I pay for the video upgrade, I can only have a video here if I post it on youtube. A video here, I could just say hello, this is me and this is my voice, but not on Youtube, where I have no presence. I have nothing at the moment that I want to tell you about face to face, as it were. Piano it is, then.

This is with my own equipment, a DMC-TZ25 camera. If I started doing it seriously, I would consider getting a microphone, as the fidelity could be better. Windows Moviemaker should be able to shoot a film, but I can’t see how, and don’t have the button this otherwise helpful page indicates. There are downloads available, I might try them.

I am the performer here: it was important to have my head in the frame, though at its edge, and to wear a dress rather than jeans.

Performing I have nerves. I can usually play Giorni Dispari reasonably accurately, but make mistakes and perhaps rush a little for the video. I ended up with two almost-OK takes, plus aborted ones where I completely lost my way, or used the phone’s memory having lost my connector (actually I only thought I had) or realised half-way through that in thinking about other things, I had forgotten to put my hair on. I am unashamed of my body and my trans status- and I don’t want you seeing me wigless.

Oddly enough when I load to Youtube I can hear my videos, but not when playing them stored on my computer or on Dropbox.

What do you think? And, why would it take over two hours to upload a four minute video to Youtube?

First post

Marguerite_Gachet_in_the_Garden_Last week I pupated. Last month, I awoke at war. I am growing and developing and changing, and it is beautiful.

I started my blog with the post I wanted to write and publish, on the idea which had made me check out blogging. There are my first three sentences, and they are beautiful. I thought I had taken a great step forwards, and I am not sure I had, but I had seen two beautiful things, which are worth revisiting.

“War”- I awoke on 1 July 2011 feeling as if I had two personalities alive in me, engaged in a battle. I was away on the HAI level one weekend, and one inner voice was whining and whingeing about it, and one was delighting in it. One said, This is fascinating and that is beautiful and she is amazing and I want to get to know her better and the other said That is stupid and that is not how I would like it and I loathe that. Or not quite: both had specific things to love or fear, sometimes the same thing, and I could choose between them. It was worthwhile and necessary to choose the positive, and that involved an effort, as the negative could easily fill my thoughts.

I was particularly blessed that day as I opened both views to a woman- my negative side insulted her, and she responded in love- and she helped me understand, and choose Life.

I have got better at blogging. My posts are on average twice the length, and I express and develop my meaning more. Then, I was shy of giving any detail, because other people involved might see, so I stuck to generalities and my own feeling. Now, I would give detail, and my impressions of others- sometimes that says more about me than the other person, and I do not insult people. Then, I still kept my paper diary as I had since October 1984, but now my blog is my diary of events. Now, every post has a picture, more or less relevant or random. Even last month, I wrote several days in advance and read over what I had written before posting, but today I write for posting in hours, as a challenge.

No, I had not pupated. I had decided It is Blessing to be me but that decision, too, needs embedded, needs taken into the heart, needs repeated acceptance. I had found spiritual work I needed to do.

I don’t think, as I did then, that these lessons were absolutely new to me. I have always been positive as well as negative. We go round and round the same lessons, turning and turning in the widening gyre, the still point in the turning world. Each time we learn them more deeply. We can go a step backwards, but the general motion is forwards because people are decent and doing our best under difficult circumstances, and our natural way is to heal and grow.

Here I am. Here, on this website, which records my spiritual growth, healing and questioning. This is who I am. Hello.

Why I write

vr-elegant_lady_in_pinkWhy do I blog? Having got to know myself, a little, I would like to get to know others. Explaining to you helps me get my thoughts in order. I want my blog to be Beautiful, so have lots of pictures.

What delights me? Doing something which appears worthwhile or constructive. Being creative, either in writing or finding new ways of achieving something.

Getting to know myself was difficult enough, and I may not have managed it. When I started two years ago, I claimed to have Pupated. I had taken a step forward, but not such a large one. Twenty years ago I imagined myself male, intellectual rather than emotional, and had no idea what made me happy or what I wanted to avoid. I had this strange desire to dress female, so had aversion therapy. Eleven years ago, I transitioned to expressing myself female all the time: and felt a great deal happier.

It seemed that the way to make decisions was to work things out, rationally and intellectually. So I made my decision to transition rationally, then saw a psychiatrist who took away all my rationalisations. All I had left was my feeling. This was intensely painful and liberating. Then it seemed that because I rationalised everything, so must everyone else, and submerged emotional responses controlled everyone. Now it seems that some people may emphasise head over heart by inclination and nature, and fit the Enlightenment understanding of how best to make decisions. How could I ever communicate with someone so alien? A sufficient intellectual understanding may even look like empathy. Yes I can understand others by my own experience, but need to challenge my first imaginings.

With a post for every day since August 2011, I have made my journey of self-acceptance- being LGBT is OK, autogynephilia is an illusion- sounded off about things which interested me- flooding in North Carolina, Marcel Proust, karate – and described some encounters with the perplexing bipeds I meet.

I want to stretch my writing, with new subjects and new ways of expressing ideas. I have a new tag line-

Everything is Beautiful

because seeing that beauty is Necessary.

I am following the WordPress zerotohero challenge.