Questions

Klovax‘s other questions were worthwhile too.https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/55/Silk_finisehe_mercerized_material.jpg

If you could have any power, what would it be?

I would like the power to put anyone at her ease, completely, in my presence, and always be at my ease.

Do you find it is better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?

Oh, loved and lost, definitely. Here am I in may prame, a very attractive woman, and more will come along.

Do the ends justify the means?

That is only a question which can be answered in particular situations. If I want a pint of milk, that is a good enough end, which does not justify me stealing it. You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, but you do not make an omelette by driving a truckload of eggs over a cliff. Everything has risks, sometimes the risks were worth taking though it did not work out, sometimes the risks were reckless and stupid.

Added: “The end never justifies the means”. Um. There are good ends and good means, and bad ends and bad means. I suppose: however good the end sought, it cannot by itself justify any means to achieve it. Assessing likelihood of success and unwanted outcomes is necessary. But you know this.

How would you describe your life using no more than five words?

Gosh! I don”t know. Sorry.

https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/4a/Corset_droit1904.gif/590px-Corset_droit1904.gifWhat excites you most about life?

Other people, endlessly varied and fascinating as they are.

Do you have a fear of death, a respect for it, or do you prefer to ignore it?

I have been suicidal. I am glad I am not, now. I tend to ignore it: when it happens, most likely I will not notice, and just possibly it will be Wonderful.

How important is music in your life?

Not very, actually. Apart from buskers, etc, I have heard live music once this year. I do not play recordings at home, and I have hardly played the piano, though I was complimented on my playing twice which warms me.

Would you classify yourself as more of a lover or a fighter? Why?

That again depends on circumstances. A lot of the time, in fact, I have been a fighter, not choosing my battles well.

What do you think the role of religion is in the grand scheme of things?

It is the source of knowledge about life, the Universe and everything, and it is the curse of humanity. And many things between- liberating and enslaving, beautiful and monstrous, wise and cruel.

Which road is better to take, the straight path, or the scenic route?

I don’t know there is such a thing as a straight path.

Questions

https://i1.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/92/Behemoth_and_Leviathan_Butts_set.jpg/756px-Behemoth_and_Leviathan_Butts_set.jpgLiebster award from Purple Gloves, a witty and lovely man from Ghana who writes about Life in a universal way. What I like about these chain-letter thingies is the questions.

Cats or dogs or other? If other, please specify:

Actually, that snake was lovely, and feeding her is not much of a problem, but given that I can hardly keep a pot plant alive I am not sure I want the responsibility. A cat might just walk out and find someone more congenial.

Talk about one thing you have done or didn’t do that you regret:

Je ne regrette rien might either be really wise and mature and generally wonderful, or borderline psychotic. It either means, I know that I have done absolutely the best that I could under the circs, and it has been alright, really, so far; or it means Everything that went wrong was someone else’s fault. They’re all Bastards!! You are not certain which of these I fit.

Name one travel accessory you cannot do without:

This year, actually, a tent. My holidays are under canvas, though I expect a day or two visiting friends in the UK, who will have all the conveniences I could wish for.

If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you pick and why?

Oh, you have read all the “three wishes” tales. That is not https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a9/Blake_Book_of_Job_Linell_set_3.jpgenough. Buckingham Palace, I say, and find myself working as a cleaner, terrified my illegal immigrant status will be discovered.

What is your favorite type of music?

To say “Classical” is inspecific. It has a range from full orchestra to unaccompanied violin, at least five hundred years of music, every single human emotion, pieces lasting from less than a minute to five hours- all human life is reflected here. Yet I cannot choose among it generally, only depending on my mood.

Name one hobby

Is personal growth weekends a hobby? Facilitators market these things as teaching us the secret of Life the Universe and Everything, and we just go away for the weekend, relax and have fun. Even the agonising and “learning” is fun.

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be and why

I would like a uterus.

So far, what has been the high point of your WordPress blogging experience?

It is all good, actually. I love comments, and am not alone in this.

If you could go back to any period in time to experience it or change it, what time would you choose and why?

I would not change anything because I would be frightened of making it worse. To experience, I would like to become an intimate friend of Marcel Proust.

Why do you blog?

To practise writing, to amuse myself, to reach out to others, to find out what I think, to give me a reason to find things out, to record my life and prove to myself that I exist, to educate people about transsexuality from my own perspective, to start a religion: everyone, in 500 years time, will be a Flourishian.

Thank you, DC. That was fun. I hope you enjoyed it.

Personal questions

https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e3/Brooklyn_Museum_-_One_Hundred_Children.jpgIf you were to start your life all over again, what things if any would you do differently?

Wow. If I had my current knowledge, in a baby, I would be a strange creature. I would use that to gain fame, then proclaim that this miracle was a sign that I am the Messiah.

If I was simply back in my original situation, probably something completely random which would send my life in a different direction, but not necessarily better than now- because I would not know better.

If my parents were to give birth to me in 2013, they would not have grown up during World War II, they would be entirely different people, and so would I.

What are the things you enjoy?

I enjoy making people laugh. Today a friend painted my nails for me, and that was lovely. I love conversation and hugging.

What is your worst habit?

Ignoring personal questions. Watch.

What do you value the most in life?
What do you want to do with your life?
What are your dreams and goals?

Or, not ignoring, but- how old are you, exactly? These are young people’s questions. I don’t know, is the answer: I am middle-aged, but I am still doing teenage in many respects. It is like being forced to repeat a year at school, when you flunk it first time round. There are still useful lessons to learn.

https://i2.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/13/Michelangelo%2C_Creation_of_Adam_06.jpgWho is God to you?

The Creator who made me in God’s image, loving, creative and powerful. A series of stories. A curse-word. The inner promptings of my heart.

Which human being do you admire the most?

Oooh. Kingsley Belton or Ann Forsyth. Maybe you should have asked Why, or even, who is that?

What is your favorite quote?

How could I choose between, say,

Why should your face so please me
that if one little line should stray
bewilderment would seize me
and drag me down the tortuous way
out of the noon into the night?
Yet so, into this tranquil light
you raise me
(Edwin Muir)

and

We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender
(Winston Churchill)?

Quotes can amuse or inspire or teach or exasperate. I like quotes which elegantly express ridiculous ideas, and even are meaningless but mellifluous. Lots of quotes have delighted me.

What are your passions?

Ah. What grasps me, so it does not seem like me acting, but something acting through me? At the moment, my great sulk, my withdrawal from the World, which prevents me from doing anything much, but then gives me time to blog. Your first question was:

Why do you blog?

Because I enjoy it, and that is enough.

These questions were asked by A Gaytekeeper. All questions welcome. What would you like to know?

Tig

“In what way is being gay a Good thing?”

https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cd/Gustav_Klimt_021.jpgDace’s eleven questions allowed me to be creative and say what I wanted to say, and joke a bit. I am glad of them. I chafe a bit around rules on tigging- reveal eleven things about me? Circumspice, this blog is all about me, I have revealed hundreds of things about me, quotidian, strange, shameful or admirable. And- I have a question, I want to know what those I tig think, and would be grateful for any answers.

Being queer sucks. You grow up among people who are not, and do not understand it- as I find opposite sex attraction (OSA) so completely weird, I have some sympathy with that- and you try to conform, then you have such trauma over Coming Out, then it is harder to find partners, you face discrimination, you may self-censor and not go certain places because you are frightened of adverse reactions, you may experience bullying or physical violence because of who you are.

Then you find a partner and make a life for yourself and it is OK, really. You have someone you love, but then, if you were straight you might have found someone. You have friends for whom your being gay is no more objectionable than being tall or short, but then, straight people have friends too.

In what way is being gay a blessing for you? Oh, and- if you want to be tigged, consider yourself tigged.

Klimt’s original has been destroyed.

Added: DC, who lives where consensual sexual acts are punishable by up to three years’ imprisonment, writes of how hard it is. Bullying has made him stand up for himself, and celebrate individuality over conformity. His piece is brave and beautiful.

Tigging

Please put your cursor over the image

Thanks to Dace, who has tigged me. Not even a wee picture with the word “Award” on it to put on my About page, just a “Tig”. Mmm. Thank you, Dace. He asks eleven questions:

1. what makes your heart skip a beat?
Thank God, my pacemaker stops any of that nonsense.

6. If you had to give away a million dollars, what would you do?
Give it to a trust, with me as the sole beneficiary. Find the flaw or loophole in “had”, and walk through it. Which failing, use it as my drinks fund, for when I had to buy a round. Even with the excise as it is, that is a fair amount of booze. Where would I get this million from, anyway?

11. If someone offered you a million dollars for a night of sex, would you do it?
Oh. There. As I have no partner at the moment, I would certainly consider it.

2.  what qualities do you like in people?
Read the above. Then guess.

4.  Why are you blogging?
Out of a desire to create a new religion. My average five page views a day are only the start. Soon, my followers will revere me as the greatest sage and mystic who ever lived, set up statues of me for worship, and spread my teachings all over the world.

This, of course, answers 3. what is your passion?

And 5.  What is your dream?

7. Who or what inspires you?
All those wonderful, exciting people who have been “Freshly Pressssed”.

8.  How old would you be if you didn’t know old you are?
Er-

10. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
To be serious for a moment, that is what I am trying to find out. This Eckhart Tolle quote off Facebook illustrates it well:

Many people who are going through the early stages of the awakening process are no longer certain what their outer purpose is. What drives the world no longer drives them. Seeing the madness of our civilization so clearly, they may feel somewhat alienated from the culture around them. Some feel that they inhabit a no-man’s-land between two worlds. They are no longer run by the ego, yet the arising awareness has not yet become fully integrated into their lives.

https://i1.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Edouard_Manet_-_Portrait_of_Mademoiselle_Claus.jpg

I said to my Soul, “Be still…”

What I hear most clearly from my Inner Self is, NO. I hear my own NO to how I have been, and I act on it because I cannot do otherwise- act on a “NO” means, in practice, doing little. Perhaps I block out other things because I have been taught to find my impulses Wrong- just as I found my desire to express myself female Wrong, at first, and irresistible.

I am now listening to my inner self. I still hear my inner critic, which says these impulses are bad and wrong and silly and unreal and (if I weep) play-acting- but I no longer act on those messages. Like all human beings, I am in a state of becoming.

And- other peoples’ judgments are their stuff, not mine. The judgment which still crucifies me is my own, projected onto others, learned in early childhood, which I struggle to escape.

9.  When it has all been said and done, will you have said more than you have done?
Ah. I do not know, for I have not finished yet.

And- while I might have ideals, learned or self-generated, as to what is good to do, greater than my capacity so far, I have achieved things I think good to achieve.

I do not choose anyone to tig unless you want to be- if so, please consider yourself tigged. I have, as before, two questions:

Tell me who you are.

Tell me what you Love.

Oh, and- if you are LGBT, in what way is that a Blessing?

Tigged

Arrgh, you got me back! Snoffair! Oh, all right- and asking these questions means you are interested in my answers, which is flattering. Thank you.

Fight or flight?  Explain.

Both. They are amygdala responses, both valid in the right circumstances.

A Flight came to mind first, running away from a job.

Fights I can think of, actually, were less Amygdala: struggles over months or years to achieve a goal.

Do you believe in aliens?  Why or why not?

I hope for aliens in our own solar system. Europa, moon of Jupiter, may have water oceans. Heat energy from tidal flexing allows the water to remain liquid, and may provide the energy source life needs. High in the atmosphere of Venus, there is a temperate zone between the boiling and freezing points of water, and possibly there are microbes there, just as there are microbes high in the Earth’s atmosphere. There is even the suggestion that at vents deep in the ocean, life using that energy has evolved from a separate source from our own, so would have a different genetic structure from known bacteria.

With 10^22 stars existing, and 777 exoplanets already identified, life must be extremely unlikely if it only exists here. And yet intelligent life: cells with mitochondria, which make up most multicellular organisms, have existed about two billion years, primates have existed 55 million years, human civilization about five thousand years, or about one millionth of the age of the Earth: so Earth has always been definitely worth studying, but only very recently possibly worth talking to.

I am an optimist, believing in progress. Once intelligent life starts it will find a way to continue. But even if it is possible to bend space and travel through worm holes, would they bother coming here? If they did, would they let us know? They might not be able to make us comprehend: “If a lion could speak, we could not understand him”. They might only repeat the message of Jesus, “Love one another”. It is worthwhile to seek to speak with “aliens”, people from another country.

What fictional character you've "met" most feels like an old friend?

File:George Eliot.jpgThe Narrator, from “In search of lost time”, because I know him better than any other character, and because he has chosen me, personally, to hear his confessions. He says art consists in exploring the self, which is the only human being one may ever know. Here, I explore myself.

And- Dorothea Brooke, from Middlemarch, who first yearns for the life of the mind, and attempts to find it in an intellectual husband- for women could not be educated. She marries a man who is scared of her, and probably impotent. So, when he dies, having produced nothing, she marries a man for physical love. This is my move now, from thinking to feeling.

I am only tigging you, Mindy. Three questions:

 

What did you do yesterday?

How did you meet your partner?

How did you get together?

Tig

Lord President of the Court of Session's Mace - photo by Ronnie LeaskWot, no “Award”, no pretty badge to put on my “Introducing Clare” page? No, just tig. OK, DC, glad you are back– Here are the rules:

1. You must post the rules.

2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

3. Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.

4. Tag eleven people with a link to your post.

5. Let them know they’ve been tagged.

Here are Dystopic Convert’s questions, and my answers:

1. If you found out you were going to die tomorrow what are the three things you would do today?

Post to all e-contacts that I am certainly going to die tomorrow, and invite them to a party at my house- bring food and drink to share;

Blog- a lot.File:FirenzeIMG0281 bordercropped.jpg

Have the party.

2. Name three things that make you happy

Sunshine. It is that simple.

Hugs.

A good art exhibition.

3. If you could go back to the past and change one thing, what would you change and why?

Rather like the Stephen Fry book “Making History”, I think something which is going to happen, if prevented, will happen in a different way. And I also think things tend to work out well in the end. And as Jesus says in the parable of Lazarus and the rich man, “If they will not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not listen even if someone returns from the dead”. So, Nothing- because it would change back within a day, or a year.

4. Beer or wine?

Both, but not in the same evening. And fruit juice occasionally, don’t want to get too drunk.

5. What is the best book you have read this year and why?

“Sodom and Gomorrah”. Proust shows gay people doing their thing in the face of absolute hatred, disgust and incomprehension. Why: because it is ahead of the zeitgeist. File:Polarlicht.jpg

6. Name the song you have listened to the most this week?

I have not actually sat down to listen to any song, so Om Mane Padme Hum made into a song by some new age bod or other, which my Reiki teacher played twice.

7. If you had the power to change the world in one way, what would you do and why?

Make the sky a different colour. But then that would probably need the Cosmological Constant to change so that the bonds in atomic nuclei would break and the cosmos change to goo- so maybe not.

Give every head of state in the world, who was not mentally ill or personality disordered, access to nuclear weapons.

8. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?

Genital reconstruction surgery. Completely ridiculous, and best thing I have ever done. File:Andrej Rublëv - Holy Trinity - WGA20456.jpg

9. Name one icon you admire and why

The Angels at Mamre by Andrei Rublev. It is the only authenticated picture by him, one of the most famous images in the world, and it preserves his name: and look at the damage on it.

10. If you could go to one place before you die, where would it be?

If you mean immediately before I die- to a hospital in Edinburgh, so my body is convenient for the funeral.

11. Home boy/girl or party animal?

Both. But see 1 above.

I have only three questions. Rules is rules, but, well, sue me.

1, Tell me something I don’t know.

2, Tell me who you are.

3, Tell me what you love.

Three people to tig: Tsena, Cathy Ulrich, Mindy. If anyone else reading this would like to be tigged, consider yourself tigged.

Lovely blogs

I have been given the One Lovely Blog award, by Sugar-Coated Angel. She is 17, and shares valuable wisdom, self-knowledge, and jokes, well-written. I am fair pleased. I am supposed to praise my nominator then to write seven things about myself, but given that most of this blog is about me, it is all here. Let me tell you of some lovely blogs found recently. In no particular order:

Large Self– thoughts on energy and healing in the 21st century by Cathy Ulrich. I came across Cathy with her post on “Bumper-sticker philosophy, saying “Disrespect reality! It is just the outpicturing of your beliefs up to now.” Practically, I function like a naive realist, and these are the reminders I need, in a clear and humorous style. The photograph is hers.

I have just found Julie Hansen Intuitive, who writes on psychic phenomena, reading and perception of people and situations. Her word “Clairvoyant” disturbed me a little, but it simply means clear-seeing. These are skills I wish to develop. Part of the current spiritual revolution is the increasing recognition and valuing of such skills.

I found Mindy through a comment, and have posted on that. I find her blog beautifully expressed, wise, varied, and on interesting subjects.

Letting go takes a lot of work!

Or, maybe, it’s the holding on I’ve done till now that has taken so much energy.

Small Letters is full of good stuff like that.

Her comment was on Fairy Bear Confessions, which teaches me and stimulates my thought about God, from a Christian perspective.

Beth Zwecher is 57, and writes very movingly about caring for her mother at the end of life, in Middlescapes, “A blog about caregiving a frail elder, life in the middle years, the search for one’s inner athlete, and baking as a path to enlightenment”.

Novia Olam is Kenyan, still living with her parents. Her web address, Sapphiqueer, is bold, Out there, when gay lovemaking is illegal, so that gay people have little protection against violent bigots. Her coming out story is moving.

Also beautifully bold is Evelyn Ortiz. “Evelyn Ortiz has spoken”- I love that. If I say I love reading teenagers expressing how to get on in the world, that could seem frightfully condescending or sardonic, but I mean it literally and genuinely.

I value Tsena’s poetry, but it is this line that I love- “I used to shake my head at the people who would claim that major tragedy turned out to be a gift in their lives; I thought they were nuts. Now I join the ranks of those whom I called Nuts.” Such an about-face is a powerful move towards wisdom.

Fear no Weebles! Madame Weebles is a middle-aged Reiki master doing wisdom-stuff- all my kind of thing- with a lot more humour than I manage to cram in here.

All so far are women! Robert Moores writes on Basic Humanity from a rationalist perspective. He is currently reading and commenting on the Bible.

Duncan Aldridge, whom I met at the Field of Love, a 5Rhythms camp in East Anglia, is exploring masculinity. He says, “I only hope that the vulnerability is a channel through which we can come closer together relationally and emotionally as men and women.” Personally, I find my “vulnerability” my only source of strength.

That is eleven. Perhaps I can keep back four nominations for later.