Out at 8.30 to enjoy the sunshine, meditate, and consider step four. At -3º, the usually squishy mud is hard underfoot.
The frost is beautiful. What are my characteristics? I am controlling. I am passive. I judge myself very harshly. I have very low self-esteem.
I am kind. I am truthful.
This may be the best photo of the moon I can take with my camera without a tripod. The only “defect of character” I want God to remove is my inner conflict. All wrongs stem from that.
The most powerful thing I can do is Assent, or Commit, to something.
I find these beautiful.
The only way beyond
the self is through it. The only
way to listen to what can never
be said is to quiet our need
to steer the plot.
The self, or ego, might be a mask for the real Beyond. It can be contrived and ridiculous:
Contrast the swan, which is simply itself.
On my retreat day, a man aged 83 shows his masculine control with questions to help priests find other careers:
Who am I?
What do I like to do?
What do I do well?
What would I like to do better?
What would I like to learn about or try?
What do I know with certainty that I do not like to do because I have already given it a complete trial?
Where can I look to learn more?
Choose motivation that helps you reach what you want.
These questions are meaningless to me. I desire to spend time with beauty. I dislike that Mark Nepo verse: I am in the true self, looking back at the controlling parent, wondering what is good in it?
I want to be able to mask.
I want to be able to mask when I need to,
without thinking about it too much.
I do not want to be masked from myself.
What I love, what I seek, is Beauty.
Delight shall be my guide.
- Autumn. What seed was planted when you were born? What was your birthright gift?
- Winter. What is dormant inside you?
- Spring. What (or where) is the ground in which you can grow?
- Summer. What is growing abundantly in your life? What is ready for harvest?
Maybe I will consider them later.
The controlling parent controlled too harshly, and the inner true self rebelled. I need to let go of the rebellion.