There is only one gender: Human

We are imprisoned by gender. Its expectations restrict us, trans folk more than most. We are people. There is no feeling only women, or only men, feel; no virtue for one which is not a virtue for the other; no gift which fits one more than the other. So there is only one gender, naturally: Human.

We can pick from a palette of gender expressions, those with which we feel most comfortable, hence name-gender: my gender is Clare. Yet that is restrictive. It means I have an idea that some gender expression is naturally me, some is not, or at least some is less fitting or comfortable. My gender is human. There is no gendered expression which does not fit me.

Women cry so we will not swear, men swear so they will not cry. Yet women swear, and men cry. These are a matter of expectations, fashions, taboos. The taboos restrict some people more than others, and we transition, or campaign against those expectations, or just find spaces where other non-conformists can make us more comfortable. Everyone will learn gender in their family and with their age group, and have some gendered expression which feels more comfortable.

Or perhaps if we cannot explore a particular gender expression we yearn for it, like a painter who does not know all the properties of a colour so wants to use it again and again to master it, to learn it from the inside, before moving on from it. Being refused a gender expression makes you need it more.

There is sexuality, as well, and all sexualities are possible for all people. Mostly we follow fashion, and don’t know any better. With a compatible person you will work something out.

All virtue is virtue for me. I am capable of all feelings, and all reactions. I am human. I contain multitudes. I accept no restriction on my gender expression. It is the only way I may be free; and the only things which restrict me are in my own mind.

Oh, I said the opposite yesterday. I am trans, I said, it is a way of being, more than simply an identity. I do not know enough to be consistent. Self-contradiction is my way of groping towards truth.

9 thoughts on “There is only one gender: Human

  1. Yes. I understand the militant gender stereotype of the radical feminists – they feel threatened and so close ranks against anyone ‘not them’ – but I’ve never felt that threat and so I’ve always seen myself as human first and female second. Fear brings out the very worst in every human.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said – “My gender is human. There is no gendered expression which does not fit me.” – That’s always been how I’ve felt. On the nose. I ended up leaving the blogs of a few women on WP who called themselves feminists, yet were outspoken anti-trans, and constantly tore apart any males who were supporting their words and hearts. Incredibly self-defeating behaviour and one that went against the grain for me having already clashed with them by repeatedly saying that feminism isn’t the goal, being a humanist is. That’s when people will be treated with equal respect and love, when gender is thought of as ‘human’, and they see there are simply too many shades of grey (how I hate that book taking away emphasis from the phrase! Tsk) within us to be pigeon holed as one type.

    Esme waving at Clare whilst drinking green tea and nursing a small hangover upon the Cloud

    Liked by 1 person

    • Darling, I hope the night was worth today’s hangover. They are self-defeating because they are in angry, defensive posture, and I see what has driven them there; and I wish we could reconcile.

      I have not read the book, my taste in domination goes the other way. Some women find it really really sexy.

      Let us be all the types we can- we contain multitudes!

      ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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