Transtrender

Is that really a thing? People cross -dress because it’s fashionable? Apparently. Hooray!

True trans people go through terrible experiences to be most fully themselves, to express our inward essence. How should we respond to folks who are just playing at it?

With delighted encouragement. They mock and subvert gender boundaries and binaries. They make it harder to insist that a man or woman should be in a particular way or should not be other. They are showing bravery in challenging convention, but they  choose this particular one- they do not just seek notoriety by breaking rules, but challenge them. Why should not anyone cross-dress, if they wish?

I have gone through a terrible experience to express my true essence, but coming out at work followed a similar pattern. The first time I told a woman, it was a heartfelt exploration of my overwhelming need to be who I truly am. The last time I told a man, I said, “Oh,  by the way, Jonathan, next month I will be coming to work expressing myself as a woman.” “Congratulations!” he said. That was it. Why ever not? I can do that if I want to.

While my friend in the 1980s insisted her “boiler-suit” accentuated her femininity with its harder fabric, and the local rugby club might like to get their ballgowns on now and then as nothing can detract from their rugged manliness, most people who cross dress, even once, are expressing something within themselves, just as I am. I am feminine, and all men have a feminine side. Usually those in skirts will have a stronger feminine side than others. I want it not to be a big deal for a man to wear dresses. That might reduce the fraught disputes about it.

Their “playing at it” does not detract from my struggle. I struggled to make a man of myself, then I put myself through transition. Transition has brought me to a greater understanding of who I am and how I tick, and what gender conventions are. I dunno. Barry Manilow comes to mind- “I made it through the rain and found myself respected by other people who’d been rained on too…”

Will it stop me using the women’s loos? Well, I continue to do so, as no-one has objected yet. I hope it would not, in itself, make anyone more likely to object.

The idea on Urban Dictionary that people identify as trans without experiencing dysphoria in order to appear cool or edgy, just like (they say) some girls pretended to be bi- well, I am delighted that trans is cool. Far better than being disgusting or ridiculous.

Here’s someone who identifies as not “born this way”. They say they were fairly comfortable presenting as a stereotypical girl until they heard of trans and non-binary folks. They had always felt an outcast among girls, but was not “suffering deeply”. (How would you know, necessarily, if you were suffering deeply?) Now they found a chance of expressing themselves other than in a cis feminine way, they were “enchanted”. Now they approach surgery after five years in transition. If that is transtrender, I don’t know what is more trans than that.

Of course it is a twitter hashtag. Someone tweeted, I’m tired of these hysterical #transtrender SJW fuckwits trying to corrupt the kids of today. They are toxic filth & worse than terrorists! Who is this person? Mucky the Duck tweets also in support of Mr Trump and about Whites as a “minority”. Someone tweeted a photo of self in a skirt, showing male pattern baldness. “Me at Pride!” Someone else objected: “Being perceived like this is something that real transgenders fear worse than death.” Well- I get read. Some people think I am a man. It goes to show that Twitter is just a place to be horrid to folks.

If you have surgery or hormones, be certain they are right for you. Anything else is fair game. Anyone who wants surgery or hormones is truly trans. Anyone who cross-dresses is not against us, so is for us.

 

4 thoughts on “Transtrender

  1. Well it’s taken me time to learn not to get mad at people that are just play dressing for fun, The world is finliy starting to open there eye’s to us and see us as the real people we are, were not the mentaly disturbed people they thought we were science is proving that more and more every year. But we still have to put up with the ignorante gender trolls that give us shit because we don’t fit their troll ideology of what is a woman or man, it’s this’s hate mongering troll’s that make kids scared to go to school, adults afrade to leave their homes, this troll’s are why millions are victimized and killed every year, trolls like this have no compashon or love in their hearts their gust misrable so they want to make everyone else feel misrable as well any way they can. So don’t give in to their hatefull crap just smile and lafe at their ignorance.

    BY FOR NOW

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    • Yes. They shame us with the myth of “autogynephilia”, they claim we are a potentially violent threat, they want to make people disgusted with us. However as long as there is the idea of a “true trans person”- one who has dysphoria, and seeks hormone treatment and surgery- and lesser perverts who are disgusting, that idea and the people who peddle it will push those who cross dress towards surgical transition. It’s the way to avoid being seen as disgusting.

      It’s the same with children. A boy goes to school in a dress- why ever not? I want every kind of gender non-conformity to be encouraged, every kind of gender expression to be permitted, for bullying and shaming people into gender conformity to be rooted out, so that it ceases to be a big deal. Then no-one would need to define their gender non-conformity as the most important part of them, at the core of their being, the one thing they had to express.

      I got the idea that shaming gender non-conformity generally, while the stereotype of the “true trans person” who wants surgery and hormones persists, drives people to surgery from Third Way Trans. Now he says it it is obvious. It may be part of my own motivation.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. it is all very tricky because gender identity is a bit of a spectrum where people who desperately want to transition do not and some transition who should not and some deal with their dysphoria through dressing or some other means. it doesn’t matter but what does matter is that whatever decision a person takes is theirs and their alone and we should respect it.

    Liked by 1 person

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