Is that really a thing? People cross -dress because it’s fashionable? Apparently. Hooray!
True trans people go through terrible experiences to be most fully themselves, to express our inward essence. How should we respond to folks who are just playing at it?
With delighted encouragement. They mock and subvert gender boundaries and binaries. They make it harder to insist that a man or woman should be in a particular way or should not be other. They are showing bravery in challenging convention, but they choose this particular one- they do not just seek notoriety by breaking rules, but challenge them. Why should not anyone cross-dress, if they wish?
I have gone through a terrible experience to express my true essence, but coming out at work followed a similar pattern. The first time I told a woman, it was a heartfelt exploration of my overwhelming need to be who I truly am. The last time I told a man, I said, “Oh, by the way, Jonathan, next month I will be coming to work expressing myself as a woman.” “Congratulations!” he said. That was it. Why ever not? I can do that if I want to.
While my friend in the 1980s insisted her “boiler-suit” accentuated her femininity with its harder fabric, and the local rugby club might like to get their ballgowns on now and then as nothing can detract from their rugged manliness, most people who cross dress, even once, are expressing something within themselves, just as I am. I am feminine, and all men have a feminine side. Usually those in skirts will have a stronger feminine side than others. I want it not to be a big deal for a man to wear dresses. That might reduce the fraught disputes about it.
Their “playing at it” does not detract from my struggle. I struggled to make a man of myself, then I put myself through transition. Transition has brought me to a greater understanding of who I am and how I tick, and what gender conventions are. I dunno. Barry Manilow comes to mind- “I made it through the rain and found myself respected by other people who’d been rained on too…”
Will it stop me using the women’s loos? Well, I continue to do so, as no-one has objected yet. I hope it would not, in itself, make anyone more likely to object.
The idea on Urban Dictionary that people identify as trans without experiencing dysphoria in order to appear cool or edgy, just like (they say) some girls pretended to be bi- well, I am delighted that trans is cool. Far better than being disgusting or ridiculous.
Here’s someone who identifies as not “born this way”. They say they were fairly comfortable presenting as a stereotypical girl until they heard of trans and non-binary folks. They had always felt an outcast among girls, but was not “suffering deeply”. (How would you know, necessarily, if you were suffering deeply?) Now they found a chance of expressing themselves other than in a cis feminine way, they were “enchanted”. Now they approach surgery after five years in transition. If that is transtrender, I don’t know what is more trans than that.
Of course it is a twitter hashtag. Someone tweeted, I’m tired of these hysterical #transtrender SJW fuckwits trying to corrupt the kids of today. They are toxic filth & worse than terrorists! Who is this person? Mucky the Duck tweets also in support of Mr Trump and about Whites as a “minority”. Someone tweeted a photo of self in a skirt, showing male pattern baldness. “Me at Pride!” Someone else objected: “Being perceived like this is something that real transgenders fear worse than death.” Well- I get read. Some people think I am a man. It goes to show that Twitter is just a place to be horrid to folks.
If you have surgery or hormones, be certain they are right for you. Anything else is fair game. Anyone who wants surgery or hormones is truly trans. Anyone who cross-dresses is not against us, so is for us.