Female Embodiment fantasies

It is a common erotic fantasy among people with testicles to imagine themselves with women’s bodies- men, as well as M-Fs. Julia Serano calls these “Female embodiment fantasies”.

There is a huge range of sexual fantasies. In fantasy you are completely in control- if in my fantasy I am being “dominated” I still choose what the Domme will do. We fantasise about things we would never do- murder fantasies gave some relief to me, and to far more people than the number of actual murderers. So people cannot be classified by our fantasies. When I fantasise about doing something, or having something done to me, I fantasise about my body, and I fantasised about my body being female or being made to appear female from my mid teens. The fantasy aroused me sexually. Now I have attained my female body, with my breasts and vagina, expressing myself feminine, I have fewer such fantasies. Because I am attracted to women, I am more likely to fantasise about women’s bodies sexually- my own, or my fantasy partner’s- than androphilic trans women.

Cis women have this fantasy too. Serano argues this is because our culture is so male-centric: women are judged on their sexual attractiveness, and objectified. She does not comment on gay men’s fantasies.

I first read about FEFs through the site Transsexual Women’s Resources, run by Anne Lawrence. She had useful gen on various vaginoplasty surgeons, and the essay Men trapped in men’s bodies, now expanded into a book. It explained the theory of autogynephilia, the theory that lesbian trans women transitioned because of these fantasies. We fantasised so much about being women that we sought surgery to reify our fantasies. Serano says, and I agree, that we should cease to use the term “autogynephilia” because it has been associated with the theory that these fantasies cause gender dysphoria. That theory is merely silly. One fantasises about what one finds erotic, not about random things which then become erotic. Why would a man without gender dysphoria imagine himself to be a woman? Gender dysphoria causes FEFs, not the other way around. Or at least, correlation does not prove causation. Without clear evidence to the contrary, it is more likely that dysphoria causes female embodiment fantasy.

The term “autogynephilia” pathologises trans women’s experience, and conceptualises the fantasy as the cause of the dysphoria. The term FEF describes it. As the fantasy is unlikely to cause the dysphoria, the term autogynephilia should not be used. I now have a page called “autogynephilia”, which I may rewrite completely: for that page should describe what is, and spend less time describing what is not. I may rename the page, too, but right now the false term is well known and recognisable; I want the term female embodiment fantasy to eclipse it. The words we use to describe things are so powerful!

“Crossdreaming” is the other word for the fantasies. That word decouples the fantasy from the action of transition: crossdreamers may transition, or may not.

I heard of Julia‘s term from Joanna Santos through T-Central, the portal for trans blogs where you can find all kinds of trans experience.

I am grateful to Calie of T-Central for sharing this post. Her sharing gets me far more publicity than I would otherwise get. And- by eck you’re a shy lot. Comment! Like! Let us encourage each other!

Blake, Wise and foolish virgins

12 thoughts on “Female Embodiment fantasies

  1. Clare that is great news because the more of us that stop using this dreadful term and understand precisely what it is supposed to mean the more we will be helping to finally put it to rest in the dung heap of bad and simplistic pseudoscience!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. People are commenting on Reddit:

    -Well this doesn’t really say much I do agree that there are people who have female embodiment fantasies as a result of gender dysphoria. There are others who have them as a result of other sexual fantasies, like the cis males of forced feminization crowd… While both are valid experiences, as an asexual trans woman, I can also say they’re not universal. So they have a context and a deep meaning, but they’re more or less an aside for people with gender dysphoria.

    -This is interesting. I am an intersex person, I have spent a lifetime with one foot in both worlds, both physically and mentally. The brain is the most complex organ in the body by far, thus an “intersex” condition is far more likely to occur in the brain than anywhere else. This is why transgenderism is more common than intersexuality, but it is in essence the same thing. If your brain is feminized, you will think feminine thoughts, and that includes sexual thoughts, no great surprise there. Everything is biology, no matter how many ideologues try and deny it.

    -“Gender dysphoria causes FEFs, not the other way around.”

    Sort of like arguing that monotheism causes religion, not the other way around. Talk about chasing your own tail and completely missing the point! The idea that gender dysphoria is intrinsic is essential to crossdreaming and I think the fetish works best when you believe it. Some days I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.

    -They should explain to me, how is it, that once I am done orgasming, and lose any sort of hornyness. Why is it that every piece of feminine feeling or anything related to this vanishes?

    What, do I have genderfluidity triggered by hornyness? That sounds a bit like a fetish to me, but I wouldn’t know.

    Make of these what you will.


  3. As I always say, I was a fairly average trans kid, when I hit puberty what fantasies do people think I had?

    Hint: Not about being a big hairy bloke rogering a tiny blond woman.

    “Gender dysphoria (GD) causes FEFs, not the other way around” of course it does, otherwise people would have different fantasies. If you look at it statistically how many have a FEF? What 1%, 5%?. Probably about the same number that have some level (even is just sub-critical) of GD.
    It is fairly simple, if you don’t have some level of GD you won;t be turned on by imagining being female and having sex. It is like having a gay fantasy, you have to have some level of bisexuality otherwise it will turn you off, maybe not enough to ever do anything physical about it. but enough to sometimes fantasise.


Talk to me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.