Bathrooms and feelings

I did not suddenly decide I was a woman- only that I wanted to go out of my house and socialise with cross-dressers. I went to the Gay Village round Canal St. I used the loos. Then I thought I have to go where the straights go, so started to go to the Bridgewater Hall for concerts. Then I went to the supermarket, because I had to be able to do everyday things, if I was to transition. I got a card from the psychiatrist- “Clare Flourish is receiving treatment for Gender Dysphoria, and should use women’s toilets” or something- and carried it in my handbag but never needed to use it. Of course trans women who do not pass need to use women’s toilets, or they will have no chance of ever passing.

Some blog- google for the quote if you want to read the whole thing- says, By no means do I believe that transgendered people have intentions of HURTING people. I honestly believe they are just people who are hurting. But I also believe that someone who wants to hurt people will stop at nothing to do just that. If a bad woman, claiming to be transgendered, could go into a men’s bathroom and possibly hurt your son, who were in there alone, she would. Because the law gives her that right and takes away your son’s right. In the same, any man could claim to “identify as a woman” and have unrestricted access to my little girls in the restroom. She knows we are harmless, but still claims allowing us to pee causes some theoretical risk of assault.

What assaults? Here is the research. Human rights commissions from Colorado to Connecticut had not heard of such cases. Cries of “We must Protect Our Children!” are suddenly silenced when the topic of gun violence comes up.

Perverts may pretend to be trans, and assault women and girls. But then perverts may lurk in car parks and assault women and girls- or just assault women they know, in their homes and offices.

Ted Cruz is far more dangerous than Donald Trump, and his honest beliefs are popular. Scared people get more extreme. Some of the attack on us claims that we are sexually aroused perverts who are an actual danger of voyeurism or assault in toilets, and some of it is that women and girls may feel unsafe around us in toilets, and so their feelings should be protected rather than ours. Even if I am no threat at all, if someone imagines I am she must be protected from me. By physical violence if necessary, says this county sheriff candidate. If my little girl is in a public women’s restroom and a man, regardless of how he may identify, goes into the bathroom, he will then identify as a John Doe until he wakes up in whatever hospital he may be taken to. Seeking election, he calculates this will be popular.

It does not matter that we are not dangerous. They “feel uncomfortable” round us, so they will get violent. They are not ashamed of their irrational prejudice.

Caravaggio Medusa

3 thoughts on “Bathrooms and feelings

  1. Perhaps the reason there are no reports of women being assaulted by men pretending to be transgender is that the transgender movement is so new. It is true that they run the risk of being assaulted in many other places, but that doesn’t justify providing another place where assaults can take place.

    And the reason many women are uncomfortable sharing bathrooms with transgenders isn’t because they are transgender but because they are MEN. Other people don’t have the option of choosing which bathrooms to use; why should transgenders?


    • Welcome, Clyde. Thank you for commenting.

      The Roman Emperor Elagabalus proclaimed herself “Empress” and married a man, and Lili Elbe had the operations in the 1930s, so it is not that new. Men can assault women in public lavatories whether or not trans women are allowed to use women’s loos. There are many easier places for men to assault women.

      I am grateful that most women don’t seem to care particularly. A tiny minority cares very much indeed, but in fourteen years I have not met one in a loo. My life would be considerably more difficult if I could not use public lavatories. My psychiatrist said it was my medical need; but I would find it humiliating to have to prove that to anyone.

      It really is not particularly exciting to enter a women’s loo. The cubicle walls are high enough for privacy, and I tend not to make eye-contact when washing my hands.


    • How would you feel if a guy with a beard followed you into a women’s public toilets? Would you assume he was trans – born female, or would you be concerned that it was a man with less than honourable intentions? How about someone that presents female using men’s public toilets, irrespective of whether they are trans or cis? Do you not think they would face some risks?

      The transgender movement might be a recent public phenomenon (since the early 1960’s in NZ, but the transgendered have always been around and either abused or accepted, depending on the society in which they lived.

      The risks of a man pretending to be trans woman with the purpose of entering a women’s toilet to assault a female is so infinitesimally small that it’s pointless worrying about it.

      Liked by 1 person

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