Bad advice for parents

There is a great deal of bad advice for parents of transgender children on the internet. You may be angry and frightened, but it is not about you. You can calmly and rationally care for your child. You need to consider what to do: angry outbursts are counter-productive. Avoid anyone who encourages an angry response.

There is suppressed rage in every word of 4thwavenow. She is revolted at the thought of transition, and oblivious to any validity in my opposing view: one comment says the psychiatrists “are writing their own paycheck” as if that makes them corrupt, and opposed to the interests of their patients; and “Dear God, we must rally the sane people to stand with us”. This is not “skepticism”, this is denialism.

Because of the upside-down activist-driven reality we live in today, rather than helping gender dysphoric young people come to terms with their healthy young bodies, Dr. Olson-Kennedy and her colleagues socially transition children to believe they are the opposite sex.  

She claims to know better than the medical experts, who she thinks are driven by activists.

When I transitioned, I said to a friend, “Most women get a great deal of pleasure from a penis”. She replied, “Yes, but I would not want one of my own”. I would not want one, either. Can you imagine presenting for a week as the other sex? If the idea revolts you, ask why it delights your child.

She supports “reparative therapy” for trans children, but not for gay people, whom she says are healthy. I agree; but the “therapists” do not, and objectively gay people are less able to form a stable heterosexual partnership, conceive and bring up a child.

She is repetitive. In that post, “mass delusion”, “unthinking”, “false”, “hoodwinked”… This language prevents clear thought about the good of your child.

Transgender Reality is anything but that. She is entitled to a policy that comments by transgender people that do not take a stance critical of “brain sex” theory and current trans dogma will be rejected, but it does mean you get one side only. I do not support a cult, and have no interest in “recruiting” young people into transition: I want no-one to transition unless they are certain it is right for them. Her falsehoods shut down discussion. She is welcome to comment here should she wish. I look forward to engaging with her Eye of Sauron gravatar.

She criticises a particular Reddit. I will have a look at it, and may post on it. Like her, I oppose lying to therapists. But the advice Parents whose children think they are trans: Get them off reddit is out of touch with reality. You cannot keep your child off the internet, but if you listen to your child you will be able to talk with them about what they read. They may understand that lying is counter-productive. I was advised to lie. I did not. I transitioned successfully under medical supervision.

If your child wants transition, ask psychiatrists and specialists. It is quite understandable that you may not want your child to transition. You feel scared and protective. Talk over your feelings with supportive friends, but do not visit these sites, which allow no criticism of their extremist position.

Arthur Melville, A Cabbage garden

7 thoughts on “Bad advice for parents

  1. Yes I suppose that it’s that “bit of resistance” in a parent, even if it’s a delusional wishing away of inclination to transition in their child, that does cause one to resist supporting their child to transition

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    • It is a wish to protect. No parent when they hear their child’s desire to transition immediately loves the idea. They come round because they listen to their child, rather than their church, or trans-excluding feminists, or the general run of ignorant people who, because they would not want it for themself, cannot imagine transition being right for anyone else.

      Liked by 1 person

      • “It is a wish to protect.”
        Sometimes, but not in every case. If it were always and only a wish to protect the child, why would some parents choose to kick out their own kids, depriving them of love and shelter, rather than see them transition? Even if you believe transitioning is the wrong choice, compare a person with some unnecessary medical treatments in a safe home to a homeless person in an unaltered body. Who is better off?
        Sometimes the initial, fearful reaction is protective, but other times all they really want to protect is only their reputation, their status in a homophobic and transphobic religious community, or their preconceived notions about how the world works.
        Yeah, this one is a bit personal for me.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Looking at some of those comments – again – I start to feel sorry for the parents and the kids. So many concerns and questions unanswered. Some of them saying that teenage girls in large numbers who aren’t identifying with what female is supposed to be are suddenly deciding they are male – after years of nothing. But then I’m suspicious. There is still the derogatory, hate-filled attitude towards anything trans. If they genuinely had a point, I think they would be able to look at both possibilities without picking a ‘side’. They see a nasty conspiracy where (if they were right) there would only be sad confusion. As Lane says above, I’m afraid some of them have bad intentions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mmm. Gay men “recruiting” impressionable youths for their disgusting practices, where those youths would otherwise have been straight (Irony ALERT!) makes far more sense than us conspiring to recruit. What do we get from it? I suppose having had the surgery and realised it is a grotesque lie but unable to admit that, we panic and assert more and more that we are right, seeking to persuade others in order to persuade ourselves, until we admit the truth and kill ourselves.

      They cannot see us as human beings with human feelings and motivations.

      Liked by 1 person

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