Being affirmed

When she wanted to spend time with me, I felt wonderful; that is my power, soft power, power from being lovely rather than from dangling promises and stoking need. The only power I wanted.

Then someone cancelled our meeting planned for Wednesday evening, on Wednesday morning. On Thursday I phoned the GIC: the psychotherapist had not turned up two weeks ago: had they rearranged? They had an appointment booked for me on Friday which they had neglected to tell me about. However, on Friday morning they phoned to cancel as she had called in sick.

That was a blow. I thought, I anticipated affirmation from these encounters. I need affirmation. So I observed this on facebook, and got back I affirm you … you are one of the bravest and most amazing people that I have ever come across .. and fun too ! x Though another stated that it was for me to affirm myself. Well, yes. I had thought of doing mirror exercises and have not.

I felt lacking in energy, and did not do much yesterday (Friday, when I started writing this). Maybe I should think on that Behavioural Activation thing. It was really good when a friend popped over. The living room, with bits of paper just dropped and not tidied since 5 September, was a mess but that was alright.

Enough Lady of Shalott. Waterhouse, left, is better than Rheam, above. Hughes, below, has something in the face. I rather like the myth, and if you know better paintings please share.