Should I be taking norethisterone? It is synthetic progesterone, and (if the difference between the green pills and the white pills means what I think it means) I take it twelve days in every 28. Why should a trans woman take hormones, anyway? What good do they do?
My friend is a retired doctor, as is her husband. I wanted to discuss my emotional lability, and the possibility of a hormonal effect on that, with a friend before the psychiatrist in November. She thought her husband would be more up to date on endocrinology. I thought, oh, do I have to? Telling a friend is one thing, telling yet another person that I have never met-
I cycled by country roads, luckily picking the right private farm road, and entered their beautiful house. The garden is glorious. I meet this man, and really do not want to. We shake hands. Over lunch I admire the art work- this 4′ high fish is welded together of bicycle parts- and having sensed my discomfort she suggests he go out of the room, she could consult him if she really needs to: yet such was his gentle charm that now I would like him present.
The whole problem is life passing me by (does everyone think that, or only most of the people most of the time?) while I sit at home with little motivation and no felt ability to earn money to support myself. And I feel so lonely yet want to hide away. But the smaller problem, which might be addressed by hormone adjustment, is my emotional lability. I would like to discuss this with you without bursting into tears. I would like to discuss Quaker problems with an overseer without crying or getting angry.
He says, there is not always a medical solution, and one of the GP’s roles is to protect patients from specialists. An endocrinologist will seek a hormonal solution, a psychiatrist a psychiatric one. Mmm, sometimes leave well alone is the best answer. I started the norethisterone after the endocrinologist saw blood results, and after the psychiatrist suggested testosterone for motivation.
He says, the point of norethisterone in HRT is that oestradiol alone risks cancer of the lining of the womb, and norethisterone clears it out reducing that risk. So there should be no need in me. Now, I wonder, what of motivation, did the specialist know something he did not? Or not? One of his patients on norethisterone had been quite unreasonable emotionally- he happened to see it, she admitted it- and on this sample size of one he was wary of it. Though proper peer reviewed studies may be no more reliable.
There you go. One possible thing worth trying. Not an answer, even though hormones affect mood: premenstrual syndrome is not merely a male chauvinist myth, and I feel, well, premenstrual. I could try and see if I felt more labile when taking the green pills.
We discussed my wider issues. On defences, he noticed that when I seemed to be coming to an important point, I would digress into a long story.
I feel valued. I feel cared for. It was lovely, talking of my stuff to sympathetic hearers for two hours.