We use the same words- “love”, “truth”, “God”, “holiness”, but mean entirely different things by them. It is not only gender identity or sexuality that she does not understand, but the whole world.
Here is Nancy, who imagines that she is Christian and loving, but that (says her tagline) this is “an increasingly hostile world”. Why is the world hostile to her? Because of “blindness from Satan”. She is insulated from understanding, because she thinks disagreement is Devilish. Can she be brought into the light? For God, all things are possible.
She opposes equal marriage for the sake of the children- It is our duty to speak up in favor of children having two parents of opposite sexes- though that strictly means opposing adoption or assisted fertility for gay couples, not marriage itself; and if those unaborted children were simply given up for adoption as she appears to imagine, who would adopt? In 2005 (yes, I know) there were half a million children in foster care in the US- are they really better off than if they were adopted by a gay couple? If a marriage breaks down, are the children really better off with only one parent than with two of the same sex? “For the sake of the children” is easily exposed as merely silly: but that does not stop people parroting it, even claiming they have “spoken up for holiness”.
But she opposes my right to exist. She would tell me that my life is sin, and I should stop acting in this way.
She imagines that she loves me. She says so repeatedly. What she loves is something impossible: a thing, occupying the same space, perhaps with the same atoms, which would be healthier and closer to God if presenting male. She does not love me, but her false idea of me, and she will continually insist that I sin even while protesting she loves me. Her “love” is a desire for my harm; “truth”, lies she has never thought to challenge; “God”, a thing made in her own image that condemns what she cannot understand. Her “love” is an abomination, because she exalts her false ideal and it prevents her from seeing me as I am. She “loves” something which does not exist, and that would justify torturing me into trying to fit it. I know. I have tortured myself in that way, victim of that “love”.
One answer is the “Third way” between accepting and unaccepting churches: shut up about it. This link makes it a straw man. The third way recognises that sinners come to church, and believes that people die still sinning- too weak, or too blind, to overcome all their faults and be perfect. As we welcome people despite less than perfect truthfulness, so we accept gay couples. Each Christian seeks to become better, and in the Love of God is justified, sanctified, glorified- just, leaving their partner is not the first thing we demand they do, for that makes us their judges, and makes gay sex a worse sin than anything else distancing people from God. Each of us must choose which part of us we can improve, right now, with God’s help.
But that would take away much of the scaffolding she relies on to see herself as a good person- “Pro-life”, even after birth; “Pro-family”. It is too much for her. If only we could emphasise what we agree on!