Faffing II

Ostensibly, we fell out over my immorality. His position was there were no absolute moral laws or absolute moral values. I think you agree with him. My contempt for him knew no bounds.

It is such a beautifully written email that I treasure it: had he devoted the same energy to praising me, I would frame it on the wall. It starts, I fear that your lawyer’s mind is far too supple and devious for me to cope with; it is, indeed, beyond my ken. A good Scots word, ‘ken’ – one I thought you might appreciate. The friendship had seemed deep, perhaps too deep: one of my theories is that we had got too close, and this frightened him, so he had to pull away. He pulled away with great vigour.

Four months after, I emailed to ask if he had forgiven me, and he emailed back to say yes. What sort of Christian would I be if I could not forgive, assuming there was anything to forgive? Our friendship appears to be on a similar footing to before: we met for coffee, and discussed such things as altruistic and pro-social behaviour with particular reference to closing the door against the cold draught, now its spring is broken, and Doctor Who. I am delighted, glad I made the approach, and happy to frame it as asking for forgiveness rather than asking if he had got over himself. He is brilliantly intelligent and beautifully empathetic- for an Aspie, the latter requires calculation rather than mirroring, and his calculation is subtle and effective. It is a friendship I value intensely. But the breach of it was just faffing.

I thought, whose pictures should I show after Degas’ milliners? Why not Luca Giordano, I had shown his pictures before. I did not think until I was looking at the Wikimedia Commons page that my theme should be naked women attacking from the sky, in one case using her breast as a water-pistol. I hope this theme delights you as much as it delights me.

Luca Giordano, the triumph of Bacchus, Neptune and Amphitrite detail 1Luca Giordano, the triumph of Bacchus, Neptune and Amphitrite

2 thoughts on “Faffing II

  1. He is brilliantly intelligent and beautifully empathetic- for an Aspie, the latter requires calculation rather than mirroring“. Thank you Clare for comprehending that Aspies can be empathetic, and an even bigger thank you for understanding how we have to work at it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • He helped me understand the nature of autism. It is clearly not, not feeling: a friend worked with multiply-disabled adolescents, who got very angry often; it is clearly not, not caring. Empathy is possible. I am clear that you are empathetic too.

      Liked by 1 person

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