Faffing II

Ostensibly, we fell out over my immorality. His position was there were no absolute moral laws or absolute moral values. I think you agree with him. My contempt for him knew no bounds.

It is such a beautifully written email that I treasure it: had he devoted the same energy to praising me, I would frame it on the wall. It starts, I fear that your lawyer’s mind is far too supple and devious for me to cope with; it is, indeed, beyond my ken. A good Scots word, ‘ken’ – one I thought you might appreciate. The friendship had seemed deep, perhaps too deep: one of my theories is that we had got too close, and this frightened him, so he had to pull away. He pulled away with great vigour.

Four months after, I emailed to ask if he had forgiven me, and he emailed back to say yes. What sort of Christian would I be if I could not forgive, assuming there was anything to forgive? Our friendship appears to be on a similar footing to before: we met for coffee, and discussed such things as altruistic and pro-social behaviour with particular reference to closing the door against the cold draught, now its spring is broken, and Doctor Who. I am delighted, glad I made the approach, and happy to frame it as asking for forgiveness rather than asking if he had got over himself. He is brilliantly intelligent and beautifully empathetic- for an Aspie, the latter requires calculation rather than mirroring, and his calculation is subtle and effective. It is a friendship I value intensely. But the breach of it was just faffing.

I thought, whose pictures should I show after Degas’ milliners? Why not Luca Giordano, I had shown his pictures before. I did not think until I was looking at the Wikimedia Commons page that my theme should be naked women attacking from the sky, in one case using her breast as a water-pistol. I hope this theme delights you as much as it delights me.