Be/ Do

It’s always a bad question to ask scientists what something is. We tend not really to know what things really are but what they do, and what their effects are. I was dozing at 4am with Radio 4, and this struck me as brilliant. It is a physicist’s answer rather than a geologist’s, and a physiologist would relate form to function considering both, but in life it seems true to me. Such static phenomena as that lake, that hill- the question is what does it do to me, not the same as what it does to anyone else; and the tree, what will it be tomorrow, or in a different light? Moment to moment it makes a different impression on my senses- differences partly in it, partly in me.

That “I want to be someone else” realisation– has it changed me? This ideal, which I should be, and everyone else should be, too, falls away as illusion, leaving me seeing others and myself more clearly. Myers-Briggs: I am so completely Feeling, can anyone be Thinking at all or is it just an illusion, a post-hoc rationalisation? My attraction and aversion, Yuck and Yum, need no justification, they are quite rational enough. Here, Judging and Perceiving: I plead for Perceiving, as the only way to be, and Judge-

Especially for That. It is completely ridiculous! It can’t possibly last!

Oh, right. “She is starved of affection” I thought, and then realised it was projection; and this is too. “It can’t last!” is my own discomfort with the situation, out of my control. Though, I am quite clear: I don’t prefer sterile isolation, however certain it is.

Area Meeting on Sunday. I was sick fed up with them, and preached at them. After 45 minutes of bickering I proposed that the clerks will draft a schedule of dates and times for AM next year and one asked if it would be in time for LMs to comment. I said something like,

I will seek to serve the meeting as best I may. I will not try to control or bounce members into anything because I know you will not tolerate that. I seek to create a space where members may decide. One of the many ways I do not do this job properly is that I have not established a proper team with my assistant clerk, who has so much experience of clerking, Quakers and business. I now intend to do that.

I quoted the A&Q on Unity and said “It is possible! I have experienced it, in South Wales AM and Hardshaw East MM!”

That “bickering”. Resisting or receptive to it, seeking to Be Positive or- it is where we are. We need to get through this, we would not be here if we could be that BMW Quaker meeting, accelerating to Spirit-Led Unity in five seconds.

No discrete entities, but interactions. No objects, but processes. Not judging or perceiving, but a complex interaction of both, changing as time moves on.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses came. As usual, I told them of the immediate relationship with God and the experience of giving ministry, and offered them a copy of Advices and Queries. They didn’t take it.

Rossetti, Astarte Syriaca

Go on, you know you want to

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s