Misunderstanding

It was a misunderstanding. I am angry and frustrated. Then I wrote the verse, and felt better: rueful, even amused.

Later, I feel sad. Mmm. One more failed hope after so many! I admit anger, fear, frustration, anxiety, and sadness is the ground bass I find hard to admit. I have used the tag once before. Sadness is difficult, associated with lassitude. Chin up! we tell ourselves. “I wiped my eyes and said, ‘enough’.” So I fear and deny sadness, and it pervades. I find admitting feelings is beneficial. Hello, sadness, my old friend.

Chin up! is not so bad. Caring for a child, I would give her something else to think on, to feel about, to make her happy. For myself, as an adult, I might remind myself of abundance.

Anyway. The verse.

I was supine and surrounded,
       held and beheld.
              There was a lot going on.

Your
       hand
              held
                     mine
       Held my attention
              held out hope

Lady Bountiful!
       Your expensive gifts were worthless to me
              Not needed, nor appreciated

I cast around for how we thought as one,
       felt as one-
              Oh! What wonderful hi-fi you have!

as a prelude to hearts beat as one,
       bodies-

We both- you and I- you, and quite separately I
thought to give, sought to take
 ♥♥♥

It made me feel better- rueful rather than angry. Parts are altered to make it more universal, not related only to the particular experience. I don’t know what the first lines could be- an epileptic fit, perhaps.

Jawlensky_Sakharoff

2 thoughts on “Misunderstanding

How do you feel about this?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s