It was a misunderstanding. I am angry and frustrated. Then I wrote the verse, and felt better: rueful, even amused.
Later, I feel sad. Mmm. One more failed hope after so many! I admit anger, fear, frustration, anxiety, and sadness is the ground bass I find hard to admit. I have used the tag once before. Sadness is difficult, associated with lassitude. Chin up! we tell ourselves. “I wiped my eyes and said, ‘enough’.” So I fear and deny sadness, and it pervades. I find admitting feelings is beneficial. Hello, sadness, my old friend.
Chin up! is not so bad. Caring for a child, I would give her something else to think on, to feel about, to make her happy. For myself, as an adult, I might remind myself of abundance.
Anyway. The verse.
I was supine and surrounded, held and beheld. There was a lot going on. Your hand held mine Held my attention held out hope Lady Bountiful! Your expensive gifts were worthless to me Not needed, nor appreciated I cast around for how we thought as one, felt as one- Oh! What wonderful hi-fi you have! as a prelude to hearts beat as one, bodies- We both- you and I- you, and quite separately I thought to give, sought to take
It made me feel better- rueful rather than angry. Parts are altered to make it more universal, not related only to the particular experience. I don’t know what the first lines could be- an epileptic fit, perhaps.