In the act of Creation, God limited Godsself, God’s perfection and power, and thereby created space for us. God gave us the ability to think of ourselves as selves, a body with desires and interests.

In the act of Decreation, we reverse that process, extinguish our ego-self, and come closer to God. We become part of the Universe, rather than a separate thing.

A person who is afflicted, without relief or hope, demolished by experience, may pass through this to decreation, to that knowledge of God. Perhaps Primo Levi felt that in Auschwitz. Perhaps a worker oppressed by labour until there is no space for anything else may experience it. Perhaps the alcoholic at “Rock bottom”- where there is no room, any more, for self-concept, no room for ego-flattering pretence or addictive escapes from reality- feels it. We embrace Necessity, and so contact God, extinguishing the ego.

Or imagine the end of a love affair, when we feel melancholic. One might become lucid about ones situation and faults, and see ones selfishness. We become ego-less because our spin on things stops working.

If enough of humanity reached this situation we might end affliction, and relate through Love.

I have not read Simone Weil, though I may. This is my crib from In Our Time: if you listen from 28:00 you will hear this in almost the same words. She is on my reading wish-list, somewhere behind Krishnamurti and Karamazovs. And I have writing to do. I added Levi and the alcoholic to my explanation: you are getting their words filtered through my understanding, a dreadful way to learn of Weil and slightly better for exploring my own thoughts. My ESA- my income from the state- may end at any moment, and I deny necessity because, well, it has not happened yet. I imagined that even if it did end, I might still deny, until I was actually made homeless- because such denial is no more insane than my denial now.

Weil: one must not seek out Affliction.

I grope towards an encounter with Reality. I might like to be shocked into it- I am There, by blessing and circumstance. Perhaps I may sink into it, like a swimmer plunging into water.

You goan rise up singin. Then you’ll spread your wings and take the sky.

Meanwhile I think of my I Want– typing here, rather than taking a break to clean my teeth. I avoid blusher because of a particular woman- in the 1980s!- who wore heavy makeup; and because I did not really see the difference the makeup artist made with it. It is suggested that I try with it, and I acquiesce: I do not know why. So I have a Lancôme brush, and blusher, and I will try not to look like a Sioux warrior or an Ancient Briton applying woad.

Or this. At 10.30pm, eight go for dim sum, and after, one offers to pay for us all. One protests, and argues. I know quite clearly what I want. I am in a restaurant, quite prepared to pay my way, but considering my funds very happy indeed not to. I speculate on others’ motivations: generosity or honour? If it were just those, I feel there would be no dispute.

I cannot say I never respond with my “What will people think?” But considering how bad it is at predicting them, and how wearing it is, I do so less. This may be a part of the way to decreation.

Simone Weil

2 thoughts on “Decreation

  1. Veeery deeep. I think that with the ‘Big Bang’ or some such event in which the world was reframed, Creation begat creation, which expanded the Universe and converted it from an arena of pure knowing, to knowing and experiencing. So I would not consider that with creation, God was limiting godself… unless he was being ironic, perhaps; or creating the experience of the absense of God as an illusion, so that we might experience moving towards God.

    Maybe I have been reading different books. Hope today went swimmingly, and that if you do face the prospect of homelessness, you will come kip with us.

    XXXX 😀


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