Christians should accept gay members, including in teaching or eldering roles, and accept gay marriages and gay cohabiting couples. That is the position of my denomination, Britain Yearly Meeting of Quakers. There are some Christians who preach that parents should disown a child who comes out as gay. There are other Christian groups who welcome gay members, but do not support gay marriage: they say celibacy is the ideal for gay people.
Even among gay Christians, there are many who wish to be celibate. They are “Side B” on the Gay Christian Network. They are the “ex-gays”, some of whom say they “suffer” from same sex attraction but do not wish to act upon it, any more than a married person should act upon sexual attraction to people other than their spouse.
Mrs Thatcher said of Mr Gorbachev, “We can do business with him”. This was during the Cold War, when Russia and America pointed ICBMs at each other, and peace was allegedly maintained by “Mutual Assured Destruction”. Can we “do business” with other Christians?
In Christianity there is the paradox of the wholly wretched man– “Nothing good dwells within me” who is nevertheless justified, sanctified, glorified. Should we accept remarried divorcees, or Expel the Immoral Brother? If we accept divorcees, should we also accept gay couples? Love, fear and judgment circle.
Those churches which condemn gays loudest suffer most, for they are the ones with the most restrictive cultural ideals of what it is to be a man or a woman. They limit manhood: just as the Koran says women should dress “modestly” but Muslims put their women behind veils, they push ideals to the extreme in a search for an illusory purity.
There are churches which celebrate gay members in our relationships, and there are the least bad of the homophobes. They would require a gay person to be celibate, which leads to the oddity that a succession of one night stands, each of which is a separate “sin” which may be repented, is less threatening to them than a settled relationship. They would preach Love for all their members, all of whom fall short of an ideal. It might be possible, there, to be camp, as long as you did not have a relationship. They might have the possibility of movement: once a gay member becomes a friend, the restrictions they demand for that person become less onerous.
I am unsure, here. In a world which so idolises Relationships, to be told your desires are always wrong is very harmful.
I am unsure from the Christian point of view, as well. “The Bible says so” is not a moral argument for those outwith the church, and the moral argument is that celebrating diversity profits everyone, as it allows everyone to develop their gifts most fully for the good of all. Moral people look at the gay-restricting church and feel moral distaste: they see the church enjoin something harmful, for no worthwhile reason.
So, no. There are no homophobic churches that I can “do business with”. If I will worship with anyone who will worship with me, it is in hopes that they will accept me as I am.