Emotive argument II

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3f/Auguste_Renoir_-_A_Girl_with_a_Watering_Can_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg/746px-Auguste_Renoir_-_A_Girl_with_a_Watering_Can_-_Google_Art_Project.jpgIt is an odd feeling, at the refectory: that goes with that, but is not what I want. I do not feel revulsion, exactly, I was eating it only at lunchtime, but I am quite clear that it is not what I want now. D remarks on the odd combination on my plate, bits meant for the other main course, bits from the salad bar, some for taste and some for need- something carbohydrate- and more from impulse or instinct rather than the usual learned habitual response. I normally have a cooked breakfast when I am away, and this morning I did not want one. Someone comments that is “good” of me. Strange that we think of impulses as harmful, and restraint as moral. For me, then, it was instinct and desire rather than conscious restraint, and I think of self-care as morally neutral, just what one does, rather than virtuous.

So I am happy with emotional decision-making. What feels right? What calls to me? What hunch do I have about what will enhance my life, rather than what arguments can I create? Often the arguments feel like post hoc rationalisations not reasons.

We communicate these emotional decisions. It feels good to be with others who feel the same way, and I follow those feelings. A dominant person expresses feelings to mould the feelings of others.

Empathy seems to be a good way to make group decisions.

I want to please people. This shames me, it feels like part of my hiding away, and also pleases me, as a way of getting closeness I desire. Strange. It is what I want.

4 thoughts on “Emotive argument II

  1. I love this post! It encapsulates so much. Rereading “A Course in Miracles” (and feeling as if I finally understand it) I am struck by the suggestion that evaluating emotions is the only proper use of judgement. Following your instincts is a way to move towards the right thing, without having to understand the reasons why.

    You go, girl! You can go shopping with the angels, too, which is great fun! They will offer hints and ideas about what goes in your basket, where to go. And none of it needs to be understood, rationalised or worked out. I was thinking about your post about your walking, and how, now, you are rediscovering the real you, including your walk, your joys….this is just part of the same process of saying, “No, now this is what I choose”.

    Thanks for posting the Renoir. Really lovely, and fuzzy around the edges.


    • Instincts. In buying food, this is a place where words, civilisation, categories get in the way. We train children to eat what is put in front of them, and train this away. It does not happen to me often, and it was lovely to be moved to eat this and not that.


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