Doing makeup on the Train!

On the train, I sit opposite a woman entertaining herself with Puzzler magazine, and beside a man passing the time with The Economist, this week on Catalonian independence inter alia. He and his sister are better at conversation than I, talking with the woman about The X factor on the telly, which I never watch, and then with me on whether there really is a St Pancras. Yes, there is a St Pancras’ church near the station, a Roman martyr. St Pancreas, says his sister. What does the pancreas do? We don’t know, and neither does the Puzzler woman, who is silent.

Cuddling with a friend, I find myself thinking of when I am breathing, and holding my breath at the time I decide consciously. Just a cuddle, between friends, and I am completely Controlled, so I stop.

I asked facebook what they think of doing makeup on the tube. J gets funny looks when she does hers on the bus, but what with getting to work, getting the children out to school, she has no other time to do it. M thinks it shows a lack of self-respect: it is like getting dressed, you do not get dressed in public. I got my mascara out, and felt a wave of pleasure and relaxation. I am claiming my space in this carriage, as mine. I like making up. It is pleasurable. If others look, to feel self-conscious is a prey response. What should they mean to me? I do as I wish!

We are getting somewhere with all this, it is not just clearing up odd wee points.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/90/Georges_Seurat_013.jpgAt the 5Rhythms, I do not understand when S says she never really understood Chaos, did not really do it properly, wants to get really into it, and when dancing with someone I am wondering what they think, I should follow a bit, or lead- oh, I am following, is this creative enough, what does she think of me? What do others think of me? Well, what do I think of others? Some of the time I am just moving with the music, and some of it I am thinking and planning. Or comparing. This person is more flexible, this more beautiful, this more creative. And- one must learn before doing, that is a mental activity.

Playing B’s piano. Something about the vibrations in the air- though how could they be different?- makes a piano with strings so much Better than a digital one. I fiddle about with Chopin waltzes, which I have never looked at before. I might be able to make music with these. Oh, that phrase is so subtle and beautiful.

The dancing may indeed be a Spiritual Experience, spontaneously moving, getting out of the mind and into the body, and I think of what impression I make. Doing the makeup was the spontaneous act, doing what I wanted when I wanted to, purely for myself. Do I do something for my own pleasure or just to make a Good Impression? Dancing, ideally, should be both, music should be both, just seeking to make an impression without getting joy myself seems cowardly or treasonable to myself somehow. Or, it is having the experience, seeing how I am, seeing how I am with others, how important the impression is. And there are moments of spontaneity, even enjoyment, in Enjoyable Things.

11 thoughts on “Doing makeup on the Train!

  1. That simple tube of mascara represents one of the passports to your true, authentic self.. How utterly liberating it must have felt to sit there and color those lashes..I am smiling!

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  2. I agree with free penny press. This post made me smile too. I play music just for myself. Prefer it that way. Other things I do, like my visual arts and writing to share. It’s an interesting dance we do.

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    • Welcome. Thank you for letting me know. I had not known.

      I haven’t. I saw the Bathers at Asnieres at the National Gallery, and found it wonderful, but I have not seen enough of his paintings in the original to form a view. On the screen, the images are beautiful, but it is just a different experience.

      Mmm. Digital colour by numbers. I may give it a try. I was not inspired by making art in secondary school.

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      • I don’t really object to “my site is awesome! Come and see my site!” comments unless they are outright spam, but will not say what I think of your site if you do not give me a felt and reasoned response to my posts. You might comment, for example, on the relationship of the pictures to the words in a number of posts. Someone with an interest in art might have useful things to say on that.

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