Tigging

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Thanks to Dace, who has tigged me. Not even a wee picture with the word “Award” on it to put on my About page, just a “Tig”. Mmm. Thank you, Dace. He asks eleven questions:

1. what makes your heart skip a beat?
Thank God, my pacemaker stops any of that nonsense.

6. If you had to give away a million dollars, what would you do?
Give it to a trust, with me as the sole beneficiary. Find the flaw or loophole in “had”, and walk through it. Which failing, use it as my drinks fund, for when I had to buy a round. Even with the excise as it is, that is a fair amount of booze. Where would I get this million from, anyway?

11. If someone offered you a million dollars for a night of sex, would you do it?
Oh. There. As I have no partner at the moment, I would certainly consider it.

2.  what qualities do you like in people?
Read the above. Then guess.

4.  Why are you blogging?
Out of a desire to create a new religion. My average five page views a day are only the start. Soon, my followers will revere me as the greatest sage and mystic who ever lived, set up statues of me for worship, and spread my teachings all over the world.

This, of course, answers 3. what is your passion?

And 5.  What is your dream?

7. Who or what inspires you?
All those wonderful, exciting people who have been “Freshly Pressssed”.

8.  How old would you be if you didn’t know old you are?
Er-

10. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
To be serious for a moment, that is what I am trying to find out. This Eckhart Tolle quote off Facebook illustrates it well:

Many people who are going through the early stages of the awakening process are no longer certain what their outer purpose is. What drives the world no longer drives them. Seeing the madness of our civilization so clearly, they may feel somewhat alienated from the culture around them. Some feel that they inhabit a no-man’s-land between two worlds. They are no longer run by the ego, yet the arising awareness has not yet become fully integrated into their lives.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Edouard_Manet_-_Portrait_of_Mademoiselle_Claus.jpg

I said to my Soul, “Be still…”

What I hear most clearly from my Inner Self is, NO. I hear my own NO to how I have been, and I act on it because I cannot do otherwise- act on a “NO” means, in practice, doing little. Perhaps I block out other things because I have been taught to find my impulses Wrong- just as I found my desire to express myself female Wrong, at first, and irresistible.

I am now listening to my inner self. I still hear my inner critic, which says these impulses are bad and wrong and silly and unreal and (if I weep) play-acting- but I no longer act on those messages. Like all human beings, I am in a state of becoming.

And- other peoples’ judgments are their stuff, not mine. The judgment which still crucifies me is my own, projected onto others, learned in early childhood, which I struggle to escape.

9.  When it has all been said and done, will you have said more than you have done?
Ah. I do not know, for I have not finished yet.

And- while I might have ideals, learned or self-generated, as to what is good to do, greater than my capacity so far, I have achieved things I think good to achieve.

I do not choose anyone to tig unless you want to be- if so, please consider yourself tigged. I have, as before, two questions:

Tell me who you are.

Tell me what you Love.

Oh, and- if you are LGBT, in what way is that a Blessing?

11 thoughts on “Tigging

  1. Dear Clare

    Darling wit, this is what I noticed today,

    “The judgment which still crucifies me is my own, projected onto others, learned in early childhood, which I struggle to escape.” We all of us have to mute the voices of criticism, and their physical manifestations, such as grief, rage, anger, mockery They are still there, and they will out, when we challenge them, by saying, “I choose happiness, I choose peace, I choose fulfilment, and all lovely others.” Wait for the reaction to these positive statements, and it can come in a storm.

    But let the storm come, and break in and around you for a while. Rage, and fume and break things. Eventually, the storm leaves, and we can get on with our small steps forward.

    Lots of love to you, always! xx 🙂

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    • The trouble with a dry sense of humour is that I worry people will think I am being serious; even wild exaggeration does not always prevent that.

      I knelt last night, and felt nothing. I sense a storm, which I have not yet made conscious.

      Breaking things. The only thing I have to break is my stuff. People do, you know, and I can imagine the momentary feeling of control and release it gives.

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      • You can imagine breaking stuff, too, that works, I lay last night in bed all snug and marvelled at this fury in me. I noticed it there, and said to myself, “Ah, that feels very good, very strong – at last!” and it went away quite happy. 🙂

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      • if you are referring to : if you are LGBT, in what way is that a Blessing?, then it is a blessing to live either you are LGBT or straight or anything else you think you are. Gender, age, sexuality doesn’t matter. The only thing that matter is being authentic.

        we are perfect the way we are – every single one of us

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  2. the only person who can make you feel like a minority is yourself. I don’t feel like I am any different than anybody else.
    People come and go, their opinions come and go, but you are the one who has to live with your choices and stay true to yourself.
    If somebody has an issue with who you are, then it is their problem, not yours.

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