-Why LGB? Why not LGBT?
– Because we don’t want men making passes at the lesbians.

So I was told in 2006. Six years later, the National Lesbian Gay Bisexual Group, a SONG or Self-Organising National Group of Citizens Advice, is still LGB not LGBT. The last time I went to the conference, in 2006, they had an evening reception, and I went, to make that point. This year there was no evening reception, but there was a fringe meeting at 8am on the last day. Having been dancing and drinking until 1.30, I was there.

The fringe meeting was about a project in London. I had gone for an interview- one CAB person and two gay men not attached to the CAB- and I looked at the gay man who got the job with a jaundiced eye. I did not think he organised his presentation well, and I found his delivery poor. After, as soon as I could get a word in edgeways between the gays, I made my point again. Why LGB? Why not LGBT? Every organisation is LGBT. No-one is LGB.

They are a campaigning organisation, they tell me, and the issues are different. Perhaps- but right now The Issue, with huge publicity, the support from a majority of straights, the backing of the EU and absolute certainty of passing, is equal marriage, and I want to be campaigning for  that because I want maximum publicity for LGBT equality. (US readers, read and weep.) And- I want this as a social group. This meeting is where we get together, and that is where we want to be. I want to spend time with queers, because I relax. Straights are just weird.

I can join if I self-identify as lesbian. I was told that in 2006, and felt shy of it, as I was asexual at the time. Now I feel uncomfortable- if T members cannot be tolerated as T, some T folk are excluded. They propose I set up a group for T folk. But, there will be hardly any of us!

Actually, if I could get travelling expenses to pop into London twice a year for a coffee and a natter with a couple of other trans women, that would be a good result. And if I could do a bit of diversity campaigning and get support from CitA, that would be positive too. I might make a few phone calls.


More on reincarnation. I thought the whole point, in traditional religious dogma, was as a response to karma in previous incarnations. So my current state might fit the karma of a macho warrior-rapist, perhaps a viking. That would mean I was a lesbian trans woman because I had been ultra-manly in past lives.

4 thoughts on “LGB

  1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_gender

    Clare, eighteen years ago I met a young girl who was introduced to me as Shelley. Her mannerisms etc were all female. My very good friends J & B a gay male couple who have been together for over twenty years were fostering Shelly for a time. She was 17. After our meeting I went home to put together a care package of all female stuff that I knew Shelley needed. Shortly after I arrived home I received a call from B, he said I know you are going to bring over stuff for Shelly and we are truly grateful but I just wanted to let you know don’t pack any feminine products like tampons etc. Shelly was born Sheldon and we are not sure if you knew that. Well I was amazed and in awe of how female she was. I had not had this knowledge of transgender so I proceeded to educate myself. The first thing I came across was the term Berdache and as Shelly is aboriginal I kept on reading. I was fascinated and saddened at the same time because from what I could see no one had supported Shelly with this knowing and her life had simply become a string of drugs,sex and on and on.
    Two years passed and Shelley moved in with myself and my kids after a time of being on her own. It was always a challenge for her to live by household parameters. I took the opportunity to talk to her about the gift of being a Berdache, she had no idea.
    To this day we are still connected, she is now in detox and trying to get her life on track. She has come so close to death so many times, tricks gone bad, been stabbed, robbed, abused, jailed (in men’s jail, which she actually loves because she loves loves loves men.) It is a string of sadness for which she has developed a personality and a shield of booze,drugs and pharmaceuticals to carry her through each day.
    I have known through her poems and her way of expressing herself that she is brilliant and gifted so I have encouraged her to write,write, write a journal while she is going through this time and I want to set it up in a blog so that she may help others by sharing her story. She is very encouraged by this and she calls me each night and reads her entries they are sooooo Shelley.

    Thank you for sharing who you are on this your journey of discovery. No matter what just remember you are not alone!


    • Thank you for sharing that. I would like a link to her site.

      Yes, I have met many of my kind and know I am well within the parameters of normal human- towards the edge of the bell-curve, perhaps, but ordinary diversity covers me. And we can be very gifted. And whether or not we are, we are a gift to humanity.

      And- thank you for being so supportive. Now and always.


  2. Good blog. ❤
    Perhaps they are being more truthful about their mission than most of the "inclusive" organizations here in the US.
    By that I mean that they just start adding more letters after the LGB, and fail to deliver. LGBT organizations will have an advertisement or poster with nobody of a T. (also Q, Q, A, etc..)
    Similarly, an "L", "G", or "B" is most often indistinguishable from the Cis-Hetero population. Unless they are kissing or holding hands with their partner, their portrayal is very "vanilla" to say the least.
    I know that even here in San Francisco, California, USA, it may be the Gay Male destination/mecca of the United States but the Transgender and Lesbian issues do get less (if any) of a voice most days.
    I commend you on your efforts and I wish you well, my dear!
    Much love,


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