S gave me a massage. I had not had a full massage before. She massaged my arms and back, and my neck. She noticed that I was quite happy to have her hold me round the neck, so that she could easily snap it, but that I was tense: rather than relax and allow her to move my arm, I was predicting how she would move it, and moving it myself, as she wanted.
Twelve years later, I had to have my fingerprints taken for a Criminal Records check for a job. How intrusive the law can be! I had to get it done, but did not like it. The friendly policeman did it with me by the custody desk. “Just relax”, he said. Yet he understood that I just could not, having this man hold my fingers and roll them over the glass screen of the scanner. I was trying to co-operate, but I hated it so much.
With friends, I can relax into a massage or bodily movement. I did this last year, and was happy to note that I could allow my friend to move my arm as he wished, without trying to anticipate him. It felt more trusting. I was also pleased to hear John state that many people have similar trust issues: he can feel them anticipating how he moves their arms. They co-operate, but do not relax. I thought it had showed me as unusually tense, it is good to hear that reaction is common enough. It is particularly difficult to relax and trust when he holds someone’s head. On “float like a butterfly” in kumite, he thinks it possible to think onesself heavy, or light.
Now Graham, who practises “Alphabiotics“, has got his treatment couch out, and a number of people are experiencing a demonstration. I would like to have a go. The couch is lower at the feet than at the head.
He tells me that my right leg is shorter than my left. Well, that is predictable, my watch is on my right wrist so probably I am left handed, and probably my left side larger. My left foot and breast are larger, and this weekend I have been looking at breasts, not out of lust but noting how they fill the bikini top, what the fit is. My fit seems fairly average. One leg being longer will prevent my pelvis from being entirely horizontal, which will in turn affect the balance of my spine. His treatment will correct that. I am always interested in the claims and practices of healers. He needs to do his thing twice, occasionally three times.
He takes my neck in his arms, and pulls my head out and to the right. And I can just about trust him to do it, and not anticipate his moves. He does it three times for me.
S’s knees had both gone. I offered my healing touch, and she accepted, though she put more trust in the painkillers. I felt my hands grow warm.