A further loss

F, that gorgeous, glorious woman from Milngavie that I took out a few times, had an Evangelical phase when at University. She was really enthusiastic, and solidly believing- and then a year after graduating her faith left her and she became atheist, even anti-theist. She met the group leader, and he had ceased believing too.

I fell in with Evangelicals while at University. I was worshipping at the Piskie cathedral, and serving at the altar, and doing intense, serious bible studies with Evangelicals. I read the whole Bible with multi-volume commentaries, and took my faith with deep seriousness. I do not regret my Evangelical phase.

So it seems to me that gay people who happen to have an Evangelical mindset are losing out by not being able to join Evangelical churches. That serious view of self and the world, God as a benevolent policeman enforcing the rules, but if you live by the rules you will be OK, fits a certain kind of person. It is all very well to say the gay person can join the Quakers or another Liberal church, but what if he does not fit with us? Here we are, wildly Liberal and a bit mystic, and just being gay does not make you fit in with us.

I feel the gay person is entitled to a Church which fits her personality and way of believing, and her need for a particular kind of fellowship and worship.

But there is a loss for the straight Evangelical as well. There he is, enthusiastically declaiming that he will not lie, he will tell the truth about God’s word as best he can, that gay lovemaking is sinful and abominable to God, and if not eschewed and repented will drag the sinner to Hell. And all the time there are these Evangelical-leaning gay people who, apart from that ridiculous belief, would fit very well in his church and enrich it.

Fortunately, more and more Evangelicals and churches and denominations are becoming accepting of gay people. They know that their former intolerance is wrong, and they make an effort to welcome us. The sooner this process is complete, the better for everyone, especially the straight Evangelicals.

In other news, the Higgs boson, postulated fifty years ago, has probably been recorded for the first time. It is the right mass, it is a boson, it appears to do what the theory predicts, more observations will be made for further confirmation.

As I understand it (of course I don’t, how could I?) rather than being mostly empty space, the gaps between the nucleus and the electrons in my atoms are hoaching with Higgs bosons. The protons would whizz off at the speed of light, plasma would look solid compared to me, if those Higgs bosons were not getting in the way. That is how they give the other particles mass. They condensed (!) a billionth of a second after the Big Bang.

I find this exciting and moving. No, I am not going to attempt to persuade you that Qi works by quantum physics, I can think of no possible use for me for the information but that it is fascinating.

6 thoughts on “A further loss

  1. Clare, I love your perspective here. It speaks of change and compassion for both sides – Evangelicals and Gays. I grew up in an Evangelical church and later decided that I would be happier and more true to myself in a more liberal environment, but, like you, I am glad to have had that experience and all the Bible training. We’re all expressions of the Divine…


    • Clearly, there is change. Gay people are accepted in churches as we were not even ten years ago. And those churches which resist sound, in the UK and US, more and more desperate. It is their loss.


  2. Really Clare, you are fascinating!

    We all began this journey together a billionth of a second after the big bang. All from one and one from all. Sadly look how separate we have become. Keep sharing your brilliant thoughts. You are not alone!


  3. I come from an Evangelical and Pentecostal background. I wouldn’t want to return to either church bit do miss the worship.


    • The fellowship can be beautiful, the worship creates an emotional bond. The problem comes with the pressure to conform, which is too great for my taste. And- I think the conformity is a price worth paying for many people, if only they did not have to forsake their God-given sexuality.


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