Introducing Clare

27-sept-2011My name is Clare, and I am interested in Life.

Whatever is human, I find it fascinating, and want to understand it and feel with it. In over 800 posts here since August 2011, I have written of- well, just look at my tag cloud: Dancing, David Cameron, Death, Delight, Desire…

The other compliment I treasure above all others is “You can seem serious, but underneath it all you are a joyful, playful child.”

I am transsexual, and most of my Google searches find me because of that, but I prefer writing of my encounters with strangers, or things I find beautiful: see all the Art here. I am on a spiritual quest:

parchment

Please comment. The best fun in this hobby is interacting. This is what a blogging buddy has to say about me: it makes me proud and happy.

Here I am, playing the piano. I also do comedy occasionally.

133 thoughts on “Introducing Clare

  1. Hi Clare. I’m here after battling, with you, for a while with the folks over at PreacherPollard. I enjoyed reading your posts over there and I have come over here to see what you have to say. I wish you had a Facebook page! I will drop by now and again to see what you have to say! *waves*

    • Welcome, Donna. What a beautiful dog you have! Do you have your own blog?

      If you are interested in the homosexuality stuff, my page Gay Christians on bible interpretation and the tag homosexuality on liberation or persecution have it. I started writing these things as a way into self-acceptance: I read too much hostility, and I needed an antidote.

      • I have a Facebook page for my personal blog. And I will start blogging on my author website – I write romances – when my first book nears its publication date next year. But the more interesting stuff is on Facebook. Mostly I just re-post great things other people say though. Thanks for responding!

  2. Hello Clare, I come over to see what your blog was about, I have spend the last 40 minutes sailing through it, I am pleasantly suprised and will have to come back and read more, but have to tell you the following story which has through the years connection to you and my own ignorance about the whole transgender, sex change thing.
    I was bought up in a very working class background were weakness was not shown, if you did you were eaten alive and life was not worth living. Homosexuality as you can understand in that environment it was hever taked aboutvand if it was you had remarks like ‘hang the perverts’ I was also raised in the Penticostal church were it was the foulest thing on God good earth. So my teachings about gay men were not great.
    I left school spent the first year working on the docks again the attitude was men are men blah blah.

    I left home at 16, joined the RAF, came home on leave for a long week end, met up with my girlfriend and we got in with another group were 1 couple were men, the group was big enough that I didnt need to interact with them apart from when they spoke to me, what I did notice that the argued a lot, anyway the groip came smaller and ended at this gay couples house after more alcohol, it was passing out time and my gf and I stayed the night along with a few others, The gay couple were still bickering, we could hear it from their room. Now my gf unknown to me until later that evening told me she had known the couple for about a year but didnt wish to tell me because she knew my thoughts, but she was happy I behaved she said after she woke me going to the loo. I said yes it was ok but not my thing, she smiled……then it happened, I ssid but the always bickering, why don’t they just not bother with each other……….. she said because the LOVE each other stupid……it was like being hit in the gack of the head with a plank of wood. What I had witnessed all night was to men in love, the little things I saw with my subconscious but being the way I was brought up it was dirty and not right. Love it was just the same as hetro couples I knew, same body language, touches, whispers, strokes and pecks on cheeks. It was then my eyes were opened and the dark veil of distrust and dislike was lifted.

    Now I come on to your blog, your beautiful blog. Even though I have no problem and even have gay friends both sexes and life is good, except till it came to transgender, transsexualism and the whole man to woman and vice versa, I was fery uncomfortable with the idea, I have met one and seen a couple living in a small place in Scotland, you don’t see black people never mind anything else, to me it just didn’t look right to much over the years of really comic men dressing as women two much make up, walking badly, just wrong………
    Until I have read your blog, looked at the beautiful photoshoot you had done, as a photographer they did well. So what you have written and your photos, along with looking at the links, you have ‘cured’ me. I can see how beautiful it is. Thank you.

    Footnote: While writing the last paragraph Mock the Week is on, if you don’t know what it is, its a saritcal comedy show with teams of comedians they answer questions about the weeks news. A joke was cracked while taking about the Catholic church and Homosexuality. …………’The bible says If a man lays down with another man they must be stoned’………..The comedian carried on ‘All I can say it does help’

    God bless :-)

  3. Clare, It does seem and is seen, you were born a male with masculinity, though feeling the feminine more.
    Your appearance contains the masculine strength and definition,; though, you transitioned to female with the dominating femininity.
    Your senior years, more recent photo shows the masculinity and the femininity.
    Maybe if as a child you weren’t pushed to be masculine In a better world you could have accepted yourself as you were, male though gentle; but regardless if the feminine was noticeably stronger, well, you’ve done as you’ve needed to do;
    and I like you your look as you are, just showing ‘you’.
    I’m glad to read of you your story of your life.
    I am glad to be aware of you. I like to empathise as I’m able how you feel.
    MArmstrong
    Adelaide
    South Australia

  4. This is the previous text:


    Hello. My name is Clare.

    I have been posting more or less daily since August 2011. My purpose comes from Jesus and Eliot:

    Jesus said: When you unclothe yourselves and are not ashamed, and take your garments and lay them beneath your feet like the little children and trample on them, then you will see the Son of the Living One, and you will not be afraid.

    I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
    For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
    For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
    But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
    Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
    So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing. -East Coker.

    Here, I seek to know myself. I seek Carl Rogers’ Organismic Self rather than Self Concept, knowing my own feelings rather than taking refuge in ego-defences. I seek to value my own strengths. I was brought up to make a man of myself, so only now, ten years after transitioning to express myself female full time, I come to terms with the deep shame I felt at my feminine self, and accept that. I am intuitive, and deeply feeling, and I was brought up to devalue my feelings and intuition and respect only rational argument. It is human to deny and repress those parts which do not fit the self-concept, so creating a Shadow: as I get to know my shadow, I find it beautiful, though that is difficult: I try to work out what is behind the blind spots I have created, from the unconscious promptings which shame me. I release my shame, and come to accept my feelings.

    This is a spiritual journey half completed. Indeed the darkness may be the light, and the stillness the dancing, but I have no idea what light or dancing might look like. I am retreated from the World, nursing my hurts, hoping that I am healing as I must. I share here as a spiritual discipline, learning as I share. Thank you for reading: the openness of the process is essential.

    Completely rewritten 2 January 2013.

    parchment

  5. Hi Clare

    Great to meet you! I’m really fascinated to read about your journey and your philosophy. I love that ‘beautiful’ is a key word for you; it is for me too. I’ve just roughed out my next post which addresses that very value. I’m not as prolific as you but I get there! It has been heartwarming to find you and I hope we can keep up the conversation, your words above resonate deeply for me.

    Blessings, Imago

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