This is a hard core tranny post. You have been warned.
The term “homosexual transsexual” is used by scientists to refer to a male to female transsexual person who is attracted to men. So it is hate-speech: it refuses to recognise that we male to female transfolk are women. And that is hate-speech: it reserves to the Scientists the right to make the classifications and the judgments, ignoring what we have to say.
To get round that, we coined the words “gynephile” and “androphile” to mean attracted to women and attracted to men without making a statement about the person. This post is about trans women who are attracted to women, or trans men who are attracted to men. Why on Earth would we go ahead with the Op?
I was quite certain that the Op was right for me. I had it after I had been expressing myself female all the time, including at work, for 22 months. When I had it I was quite clear even on the trolley going to theatre that I could change my mind, and I was not going through with this because it was expected of me. And I was quite clear that I would not, that it was the thing I wanted more than anything else.
And after it did not go as well as I had hoped-
Were they cultural, rather than atavistic, motives, that made me have my penis removed? If I could have been fully accepted as a woman with a penis (or whatever you call it), as myself without an operation, would I have wanted the operation?
That is, can I imagine growing up in a world without “Normal”, without self-consciousness, without Judgment, where people are celebrated for who they are? Then I am quite sure there would be a wide gender spectrum, quite naturally a broad range of gender expression of men and women: there is now. I might be “feminine” with my semen-producing pussy, and it might go better with what people with ovaries usually have.
Well, I am not in that world, and I know I made the right decision at the time. Speculating on whether I would reverse it if I could is meaningless, because that is not a possibility. Were it a possibility I would know whether I was drawn to it. Expressing myself male and using a male name remains a possibility, and I am not drawn to that. Quite the opposite.
Attracted to women and needing to be authentically Me in a relationship, I make love as best I may.