“My husband dominated me,” said my friend, simply. “What is it like between two men or two women? Can you tell which is the dominant one, and which is the passive one?”
This is a heterosexual way of looking at it which does not fit all heterosexuals. My friend described how he had relationships in which he was more active, and others in which he was more passive, and he could feel the erogenous zones in his body change as his relationships did. A gay friend has said that some gay men do not particularly like anal intercourse, refuting the dominant/ passive paradigm. And I doubt you could look at a gay couple, judge which of them was more “feminine”, and from that deduce which was more dominant. A wife in ”Peveril of the Peak” manages her husband beautifully, always letting him get his own way if he insists in the small things, and always persuading him in the large things.
The same gay man, from his observations, said that when two blokes fancy each other, their eyes meet and they consent together immediately. Whereas two women could dance around each other for months before coming together. Others could see where they were going, perhaps they could too, but they took an unconscionable time.
Transsexual people can form very strong bonds in the difficulty and delight of transition, from an understanding of each other which few others share. To connect with someone who has that understanding is a great blessing.