Neutrois, naturally
I am grateful to Maddox for introducing me to the concept of neutrois, and for showing themself on the web. (“Themself”- the pronoun they wants, to the chagrin of my grammar checker, is they, their or them for he/she/him/her/his/hers. Others use the pronouns ze and hir as pronouns for people without specifying gender.)
Maddox has a gender. It is the neutral gender, I think neither male nor female (I hope they will correct me if I have expressed it badly). They has a lot more to say on this on their fascinating blog. I am grateful, because this idea shows me a new way of understanding, new possibilities of how to be human. Meeting transsexual people gave me a new possibility of how to be, fifteen years ago. I had experienced and then internalised strong negative reactions to expressing myself female, but had seen that I was allowed to be a normal man (I tried very hard at that). Now, meeting these people, I saw that I was allowed to want to transition and be more or less a normal woman (lots of people who have transitioned will tell you they are women, not transwomen). Some people find that hard enough to understand.
For me, I would say I am both male and female, rather than neither. I realised very quickly I did not fit the standard definition of “a transsexual person”, even if it was so close to me that expressing myself female for the last nine years has been completely right for me. Responding with strong empathy for female characters in films and TV was a giveaway for me. Once I permitted myself to express that part of myself, that was it, I knew I wanted to transition.
Now, I am far more comfortable with the range of natural responses within me, and so less in need of examples of either how it is permissible to be, or how it is possible to be. I can just be. Mostly. And, still, seeing other possibilities in other people may still make me more alive to possibilities in myself. So I am grateful.
Gratitude for the way you are , regardless of how others percieve you, is the beginning of acceptance of your divine calling and the enlightenment that will surely follow. Blessings
David
Thanks for the mention! Similarly for me, just reading how other people find their identity and then express it helps me on my journey. Learning that there are all kinds of combinations opened my mind to the possibility of being me.
(And thanks for using the right pronouns! Also, when using singular they as a pronoun, you can conjugate the verbs as you would normally, so instead of “they has” you’d just say “they have.” We already do this naturally in our language when we don’t know the gender of the person, such as in “The student passed their test. They will have good grades.”)